SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 7:53am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Addict Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 3 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Addict  (currently 2015 views)
Don
Posted: December 17th, 2014, 8:30pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
Addict Episode #1 Relapse by Bryan Ugochukwu - Series, Drama - A burn out OLD stockbroker must deal with the younger ruthless crowd of stock brokers, racism, a high maintenance good for nothing wife, and the mob to survive in this high pace fast world of wall street. 60 pgs. Televsion series. Episode #1. Relapse.  - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
DustinBowcot
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 3:12am Report to Moderator
Guest User



Code

Beautiful lights FLASHES randomly.


What is beautiful about the lights? Why do they flash randomly? Why is flashes in uppercase? Why is flashes plural?

Code

A sports Audi pulls into a driveway of a two story house.


You're actually allowed to use 'the' here. So:

A sports Audi pulls onto the driveway of a two story house.

You also pull onto a driveway, not into it. Be a bit weird driving into the driveway.

Code

RADIO STATION (O.S.)
...dollars. According to the
wallstreet news... his firm made
more than one billion dollars of
revenue...


one billion dollars 'in' revenue.

Code

DICK STRONG mans the wheel.


Really? Dick Strong? This is coming across as a joke. Is this a comedy?

Code

Has the all American charm, girls love and men envy.


I'm finding that hard to picture. Are Americans known to be charming? I understand that individuals could be charming, but you're associating it with the entire country. What the fuck is American charm?

Code

RADIO STATION
...gained from, some will say,
unethical lending practice. Also,
last night, a deadly riot at a factory
broke out. Many workers killed. It -


This newsreader should consider another career.

Code

He shuts off the radio.


I would too.

Code

Dick sets his keys on the table, black briefcase in his hand.
His home is a sight. Exotic paintings, expensive furniture.
Big screen t.v. A man's wet dream.


You really need to work on your descriptions.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 1 - 13
rendevous
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 4:16am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Away

Location
Over there.
Posts
2354
Posts Per Day
0.43

Quoted from Dustin

You're actually allowed to use 'the' here. So:

A sports Audi pulls onto the driveway of a two story house.

You also pull onto a driveway, not into it. Be a bit weird driving into the driveway.


It's not weird at all. Nothing wrong with saying a car pulls into a driveway.

R



Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 2 - 13
DustinBowcot
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 5:16am Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from rendevous


It's not weird at all. Nothing wrong with saying a car pulls into a driveway.

R



Into is used when moving within something. Like water or an enclosed space. Although I agree that a driveway could be classed as an enclosure it isn't preferable to me over the fact that 'onto' means to end a movement on a surface, which a driveway is. A driveway is more of a surface than an enclosed space. Although both can be used, to my mind it is more correct to use 'onto'.

It is weird to suggest that somebody can drive into a surface rather than onto it.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 3 - 13
sniper
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 7:03am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


My UZI Weighs A Ton

Location
Northern Hemisphere
Posts
2249
Posts Per Day
0.48

Quoted from DustinBowcot
Into is used when moving within something. Like water or an enclosed space. Although I agree that a driveway could be classed as an enclosure it isn't preferable to me over the fact that 'onto' means to end a movement on a surface, which a driveway is. A driveway is more of a surface than an enclosed space. Although both can be used, to my mind it is more correct to use 'onto'.

It is weird to suggest that somebody can drive into a surface rather than onto it.

Interesting. I'm not a genious when it comes to grammar but I have never heard the "onto a driverway" version before. Bear in mind, I'm only going by what sounds better but if we follow the onto-logic, wouldn't the car then by parked on the driveway, as opposed to in the driveway? A car being parked on the driveway just doesn't sound right (although maybe grammatically correct).


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 13
DustinBowcot
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 7:20am Report to Moderator
Guest User



Yes a car would be parked on the driveway. I park my car on the drive... not in it.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 5 - 13
DustinBowcot
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 7:27am Report to Moderator
Guest User



For me, it only works with 'into' if they must go through a gate to get to it... as some will have to. Even then though, I'd write that they pull in through the gate and onto the driveway.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 6 - 13
LC
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 7:36am Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
7581
Posts Per Day
1.34
I wasn't going to comment but I can't help myself.  

You give a lot of good advice to newbs Dustin,  but I can't get with your advice in this particular case. I think you're being a bit too literal in this case.  

Be a bit weird driving into the driveway.
It's regular usage imh - he's not colliding with the driveway he's pulling off a main road into an area that is designated as a parking area for a car so it's a bit like walking from one room (marked off area) into another. I agree with you regarding 'the' so as you've not got to 'a's' though.

http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-cobuild/to%20pull%20into%20the%20driveway

As an aside: I read a blacklist script script last night - one that sold for six figures, is much hyped as the next big thriller and it gained the writer a big name agent. The script has typos, grammatical errors and punctuation blunders. Story was lucklustre in my opinion as well. I think you get the gist of what I'm saying...




Logged
Private Message Reply: 7 - 13
sniper
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 7:39am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


My UZI Weighs A Ton

Location
Northern Hemisphere
Posts
2249
Posts Per Day
0.48
I don't doubt that "on" is the grammatically correct way to write it but from what I have seen/read/heard, "in" seems to be acceptable and maybe even more commonly used.

While obviously a tragic story, it would appear that even reporters don't know when to use what.

Headlines reads "Utah teen dies after being run over while sunbathing in driveway", but the caption reads "Marli Hamblin died from injuries she sustained after she was accidentally run over while sunbathing on her driveway on Friday."

It then goes back to using "in".

http://globalnews.ca/news/1504136/utah-teen-dies-after-being-run-over-while-sunbathing-in-driveway/


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
Logged
Private Message Reply: 8 - 13
DustinBowcot
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 8:50am Report to Moderator
Guest User



That's because both are acceptable... but only because both are used. It is my opinion that 'in' is incorrect. I don't classify a driveway as being an enclosed area. Maybe because I'm poor and anyone can drive onto my driveway... well they couldn't because there is only room for one car. They could park on the grass... or would that be 'in' the grass?
Logged
e-mail Reply: 9 - 13
rendevous
Posted: December 18th, 2014, 9:32am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Away

Location
Over there.
Posts
2354
Posts Per Day
0.43
Incorrect is too strong. My last word on this, as I've things to do. Usage is the best example of English in action...

I'm on the motorway in England (god forbid) and I'm tired, I pull into a layby for a rest.

It is to do with movement from the road, and words have many meanings, dependent on usage. I could be more specific, but I do i get that feeling of micturation against the breeze. And this is small stuff, dependent on intuition.

Now, I'm tired. Going for a wee. Later...

R


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 10 - 13
Ugo
Posted: December 21st, 2014, 5:41pm Report to Moderator
New



Location
japan
Posts
52
Posts Per Day
0.01
First and foremost I want to thank everyone for their comments give me a few days to return the favor. As for grammer I do admit that it is very weak and it's time for me to bring out the old English text book. Lol. I keep everything in mind for the next script. Good looking out.


check out my scripts here....let me know what you think

https://www.dropbox.com/s/amkdn3svt5rernq/last%20hope.pdf?dl=0

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 11 - 13
Josh
Posted: December 24th, 2014, 11:37pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
84
Posts Per Day
0.02
Hey Ugo, you've been super active around these forums and I understand the frustrations of writing. I noticed you had issues with correct grammar and syntax, and you may have gotten this suggestion before, but just in case I recommend "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White, possibly the most popular general guide to English.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 12 - 13
Ugo
Posted: December 27th, 2014, 1:16am Report to Moderator
New



Location
japan
Posts
52
Posts Per Day
0.01
i haven't. i'll look into buying the book. thanks Josh!!!

good looking out


check out my scripts here....let me know what you think

https://www.dropbox.com/s/amkdn3svt5rernq/last%20hope.pdf?dl=0

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 13
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Series  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006