Unit 13 by Lukas Scott - Short, Horror, Drama - An abusive mother pushes her mentally disabled son to far. - pdf, format

Lukas, first off your logline needs fixing - 'too' instead of 'to'.

The opening news anchor speech needs editing i.e., cutting way back. Also it would probably be better if we could see who's watching the television - i.e., set the scene with The Mother in her home as a flashback then cut to present day.

The opening with the 'mother' is way too drawn out too.

Punctuation, grammar, typos, etc. all need a big revamp - as do some of the overly long descriptive/action passages and your writing is way too passive in spots.

Camera directions are not needed (i.e., they are for the most part the domain of the director).

All of the above is fixable.

I'd label this 'drama' not 'horror' - even though it has horrific elements of a realistic nature.

The good news is your story has potential and you obviously have a flair for observation. Your characterizations are terrific - small touches such as the son's wrestling mask and the alcohol/drug addled mother are spot on and help to evoke some great visuals.  A somewhat depressing narrative but pretty well told.

There's some natural talent on display here, and the dialogue for the most part is very realistic.

I encourage you to join the discussion board on SS, you'll learn a lot.