Our Little Secret by John Cowdell - Short - A man is awoken one night by a ghostly voice. Alone in his house, he is haunted and tormented by the ghost of his daughter, who is determined to make him acknowledge and pay for what he did to her. 6 pages - pdf, format

John,

the voice of comments past should never haunt you.  Read at your liesure.

This one is a straightforward little piece.  Dad has remorse, hears voices, and manages to have an accident.  I was looking for some twist to this, something different from standard horror form.  But this one reads pretty standard from the whiskey and cigarettes to the little girl voice to the smashed glass on the floor to the startled fall.  The writing is serviceable, and the dialogue works for me.  It's just that there is nothing original here, nothing to make me want to watch this piece a second time.  Figure out a way to make this unique, and you may have a winner.

Best
Richard

Yeah I get where you're coming from but originality is pretty dead especially in horror. I just wanted to tell a short, spooky story that dealt with a serious subject.