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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Sex & Death Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: July 29th, 2015, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Sex & Death by Sylvia Dahlby - Short, Supernatural Romance - The Grim Reaper has one last dance with his ex. 5 pages - pdf, format


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RichardR
Posted: July 31st, 2015, 9:44am Report to Moderator
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Sylvia,

Nothing supernatural about comments.

First, I like this little piece.  Having the grim reaper appear as a handsome young dude who still loves a woman works for me.  And he's come for her.  From the dialogue, this is a regular gig, and all the other times she's managed to stave off his advances.  This time, it's different.  I'll buy that.  And since he told her how he got the gig, she can take it from him.  What is missing is why he wants out of the job.  I didn't get the reason he was weary of the job.  Not that being the reaper wouldn't be wearing.  And it kept him young.  Hmmm

In any case, the dialogue works for me, and the action plays out.  Good job.

Best
Richard
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