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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  28 Hours Later Moderators: bert
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  Author    28 Hours Later  (currently 4916 views)
Don
Posted: October 4th, 2015, 12:41pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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28 Hours Later by Jack Felson - Horror - A prequel to '28 Days Later', as well as a follow-up to its first scene, in the lab. It is supposed to end 28 hours after the virus comes out, as the Royal Family is evacuated. 98 pages - pdf, format


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-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (7 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  January 14th, 2016, 12:53pm
revised draft
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TonyDionisio
Posted: October 5th, 2015, 9:12am Report to Moderator
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Damnit, get to the point!

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Jack,

If this is the first line you want your audience to read, there will not be a second. Sorry!

"A CCTV room. An operator is asleep, in front of all his
screens that get black one after another."

Gotta clean this up,

Tony
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JackF
Posted: October 12th, 2015, 10:37am Report to Moderator
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Guess it's all cleaned up now. Forgive my French - and I'm really French.
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Busy Little Bee
Posted: October 28th, 2015, 9:17pm Report to Moderator
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This sounds interesting, a lot to live up to. Let's check it shall we.

BLB


Commodus: But the Emperor Claudius knew that they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you have been doing, busy little bee..."
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Dustin
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 3:30am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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The logline is the first thing I read and it doesn't pull me in at all. You need to seriously work on that. Not to mention stealing somebody else's idea. Couldn't you think of your own story?


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JackF
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 11:44am Report to Moderator
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"Stealing somebody else's idea" then how do you explain this script being on the site? There are plenty other scripts here, thought as remakes or sequels, or re-imaginings. This is a prequel, and if you check the script's first page, you'll see the 'somebody else's' name mentioned.
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Dustin
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:03pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Quoted from JackF
"Stealing somebody else's idea" then how do you explain this script being on the site? There are plenty other scripts here, thought as remakes or sequels, or re-imaginings. This is a prequel, and if you check the script's first page, you'll see the 'somebody else's' name mentioned.


So, you're not stealing somebody else's idea?


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JackF
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:17pm Report to Moderator
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Ask that question to a Nick Romantini, who uploaded a script thought as a remake or John Carpenter's 'Halloween'. Same page.

As for me, no, I'm not stealing somebody else's idea, I just told you why. And there is only one company in the world that can produce this script. They know about the project.
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ABennettWriter
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:22pm Report to Moderator
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JackF: There's a difference between a company knowing about the project and a company hiring you to write the script. You didn't sign any contracts/NDAs did you? Sharing, especially online, can hurt your chances of production.

FYI.
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Dustin
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:24pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Quoted from JackF

As for me, no, I'm not stealing somebody else's idea, I just told you why. And there is only one company in the world that can produce this script. They know about the project.


It's a project? Wow. Congratulations on being commissioned to write the prequel.

You really shouldn't be posting it here though, I'm sure if you check your contract there will be some type of non disclosure clause.


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ABennettWriter
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:30pm Report to Moderator
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....I just said that.
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Dustin
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:31pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Quoted from ABennettWriter
....I just said that.


Got there before me.


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JackF
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 12:48pm Report to Moderator
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You are both right, thanks.

To you Dustin, no, I wasn't commissioned to write this prequel, but I still wrote it and my representative submitted the script to the production company in London anyway. Let's say the project is on stand-by.

If they don't want to produce it, at least people here can see the script. I love sharing my stuff.
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Dustin
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 1:03pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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If this was a project and truly on stand-by, then you couldn't post it here, no matter how much you love sharing your stuff.

I took a look at the first page and it isn't written to a pro standard, I believe this will hurt your chances of this actually becoming a project. If you'd like to learn how to write better then participate here at the site and you'll pick it up.


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JackF
Posted: October 29th, 2015, 2:13pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, I know I didn't use Final Draft.
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