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Parts Are Such Sweet Sorrow - OWC (currently 2962 views) |
Don |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 11:01am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16381 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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DustinBowcot |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 1:37pm |
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Guest User
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Logline is a bit messy. Probably wrote on the hop. Nice pseudonym.
Lot of one liners that I'm groaning at. This is supposed to be horror, but it's comedy.
Not bad... I like the story and it would be easy to film.
6 out of 10. Not quite a consider, but not a bad effort either, nice work. |
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Scar Tissue Films |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 2:47pm |
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Posts3382 Posts Per Day 0.63 |
This could make a funny sketch.
It's not horror by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a fun little skit. |
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RKeller |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 3:01pm |
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Posts39 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
SPOILERS
Pg 1 disinterested -> uninterested (cf the great scene in Bugsy) "nuts and bolts" Nice. (She's the nut and he wants to bolt?) The first thing we hear from the Counselor is "separation"?
Pg 2 Top of page: you are the first one today to make me lol. Thanks! collerd shirts. Nice.
Pg 3 The Counselor has a bias for The Bride She breaks into song. Well done.
Pg 5 Okay, the Counselor lets Frank finish a sentence.
= = = = = = = Bravo! Best one so far today. |
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RKeller |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 3:03pm |
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Posts39 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
This could make a funny sketch.
It's not horror by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a fun little skit. |
There's a dismembered body in the bathtub. |
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Scar Tissue Films |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 3:06pm |
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Posts3382 Posts Per Day 0.63 |
There's a dismembered body in the bathtub.
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It's still a comedy. |
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stevie |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 5:35pm |
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Of The Ancients
LocationDown Under Posts3441 Posts Per Day 0.61 |
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Scar Tissue Films |
Posted: October 24th, 2015, 5:37pm |
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Posts3382 Posts Per Day 0.63 |
Not a pisser. Just heavier on the comedy than the horror.
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Reply: 7 - 25 |
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MarkRenshaw |
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 7:11am |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts2335 Posts Per Day 0.59 |
This is a funny sketch, it's not a horror but I did like the setting and the banter between the characters. It is low budget, uses classic monsters but if I were a picky guy (which I am) there is more than one good make-up effect, as both Frank and his Bride would need make-up, plus the body in the bath.
I did like it though, it was clever and witty.
-Mark |
| For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK |
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ScenesUnwritten |
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 1:26pm |
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LocationBrooklyn, NY Posts18 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
This was complete garbage. just joking. I actually laughed quite a bit.
PROS: Easy setup. Great quick back and forth banter. Easily to visualize.
CONS: Comedy. Didn't get the uniBROW joke.
Funny. |
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AnthonyCawood |
Posted: October 25th, 2015, 5:53pm |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts4319 Posts Per Day 1.14 |
My opinions are just that, and have been known to be wrong! Picky bits:- 1) Not horror for sure Good bits:- 1) Well paced 2) Good dialogue 3) Definitely some funny lines Rules Well it's got a classic monster or two, but it ain't horror Overall this was well written and funny, but not really as per the brief for this OWC Anthony |
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Reply: 10 - 25 |
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EWall433 |
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 9:45am |
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New
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I'm not quite sure what to say about this one, it's a cute concept and decently executed, but it feels like more could've been done with it. It could really be something good, Frankenstein and his Bride having marriage problems, but it didn't really dig deep enough for me. Might have been nice to hear or see some of things they've done in the past to spice up their marriage. Things normal couples would do, but don't work out because these two are abominations before the eyes of God. Things like going on a date night that ends with them running away from angry villagers.
The end is good, but again feels like it could be more. How far down this road might these two go? Does cutting off other people's faces and stitching them to your own count as "seeing other people"?
Then again, maybe it's just me. |
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PrussianMosby |
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 12:35pm |
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Posts1399 Posts Per Day 0.37 |
Parts Are Such Sweet Sorrow
Okay, a lot of comedy with one brutal image.
Imo this could work only if you compress it to 2 or 3 pages. A short funny clip with a dark touch. Still decent stuff imo, nice concept. |
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SAC |
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 7:48pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
Writer,
Very nicely done, and funny. Found myself chuckling several times. It's an original premise and one I can see being filmed very easily. I loved that they killed the counselor. I think you could have spent at least half a page on her brutal death. That would have thrown in the horror element that this piece is missing. For what it's worth, mostly comedy here. But I don't care. One of my favs nonetheless. Good job!
Steve |
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rendevous |
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 8:24pm |
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Old Timer Away
LocationOver there. Posts2354 Posts Per Day 0.43 |
You can tell from the title and the start this is going to be on the comedic side. Thankfully I've cheered up a bit so I'll give it a go.
There's a few lines that fall flat, but there's also some good lines. I was amused.
R |
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