Star Destroyer Joy Ride by Anthony Dionisio - Short, Sci Fi, Fan Fare - The emperor's son has a bad habit of stealing Star Destroyers. This time it could be a major tragedy for the Empire unless a bounty hunter acts quickly. 7 pgs. - pdf, format

Nicely written so far. Just letting your imagination and passion go. Nice to see... rather than the subdued low budget offerings we usually get, you've just let loose here. Perhaps there is a nod to that in the title too with 'joyride'.

Code First in it’s class...

An unnecessary apostrophe in its.

Code PRINCE BORK JIAMUK, 16, dark-side garb, think... lead-singer punk-guy from Green Day.

This type of music is not my thing. I've heard of Green Day, but I have no idea who the lead singer is or what he looks like. I'd have to Google, but I'm not particularly bothered. I'm just left without a proper description instead.

Code similar armor configuration to Bobba Fett...

Means nothing to me.

Code MINX Cashed in. Made good on over two hundred bounties, but yet here I am... a glorified babysitter for the Empire. Misery loves my company.

Who's she talking to? Seems like she's telling me her bio as the writer can't be bothered to find a clever way around delivering the info.

Code Jiamuk is moments from shedding his first tear.

I don't understand the above. Seems out of context.

Code with his ineffective boy-hand

Boy-hand... not sure what this means. Does he have two of these? Is it his normal hand only boyish? I don't get it.

This has very little chance of ever being produced but I doubt that bothers you. Indeed, you knew that full well when you started writing. You just wanted to allow your imagination to run free and you have. I'd call this a comedy and one Star Wars fans would probably love. I've never seen any of the Star Wars films aside from number 1. I was also very young when I saw it, so the humour here is lost on me.

Mostly well written and you had fun, which is the main thing. Nice job.

Thanks for the review, Dustin -- as usual dead on. I appreciate it and will reciprocate any time.

Ya, just a little nod to the Abrams film coming out next month. I proofed it one or twice, but you know how that shit goes until other eyes look at it.

Cheers, as you folks say!

Hey Tony,

I gave this a read, and I've got to say, I'm not that big of a Star Wars fan, so I might be all wrong with my comments. I thought you tried to make this a comedy / satire, at least the characters wouldn't make much sense otherwise. I mean a sith covering behind troopers, close to crying? And in the end he gets his little arse slapped by a bounty huntress?

It had me "loling", but I guess I missed the point of it. No idea why she rescued him, just to slap his ass? I guess I missed the sense here, if there was one.

The opening description is a little cluttered but ok.

Jiamuk stares, wonders what’s wrong with his ineffective
boy-hand. That was the funniest part for me.
                         
outta is oughta as in short for ought to

Okay, kind of funny, BUT...you missed the one thing...the scrolling text over space. Having the Lucas Wipe down, I am soooo disappointed you missed the scroll text.