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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Hit and Miss Moderators: bert
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  Author    Hit and Miss  (currently 1152 views)
Don
Posted: December 6th, 2015, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Hit and Miss by Brandon Vega - Action, Adventure - Desperate to impress the girl of his dreams, an insecure loser becomes a hitman but shoots the wrong man on the first day of the job, jeopardizing his newfound relationship. 116 pages - pdf, format


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Lightfoot
Posted: December 6th, 2015, 5:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
Desperate to impress the girl of his dreams, an insecure loser becomes a hitman .


I think this is basically the only information you need to tell for the logline, him shooting the wrong man seems kind of a spoiler to me.
Page 2  (Junior's dialogue)


Quoted Text
Where are we going? Charlie hands him a single car key.


Page 12...


Quoted Text
Junior takes the a swig of his beer.


I liked the opening scenes, Charlie is definitely a interesting character, I look forward to more scenes with him. The writing is very good also, the action flows nicely and the flashbacks fit in well. I've read to page 20 so far I will continue when I can.
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