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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Door Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: February 9th, 2016, 11:32pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Door by Vladimir Jovanovs - Short, Horror - A young man experiencing nightmares visits a psychiatrist. 10 pages - pdf, format


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RichardR
Posted: February 10th, 2016, 11:41am Report to Moderator
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Vladimir,

Some notes.

I like this one, although the opening is much like your other piece.  And the subject matter is basic--a psychiatrist and a patient.  

This has a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET vibe which I also like.  And the ending works for me.  You might think about shortening the opening.  Since you're going to do multiple sessions, why not just start in the office?  No need for the secretary or anything else.  

And I'm sure I understand how Kyle escapes every day.  How does he wake up if he can't find the door?  In any case, it has a nice pace and plenty of horror elements.

Best
Richard
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Demento
Posted: February 10th, 2016, 5:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from RichardR
I like this one, although the opening is much like your other piece.  And the subject matter is basic--a psychiatrist and a patient.  

This has a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET vibe which I also like.  And the ending works for me.  You might think about shortening the opening.  Since you're going to do multiple sessions, why not just start in the office?  No need for the secretary or anything else.  

And I'm sure I understand how Kyle escapes every day.  How does he wake up if he can't find the door?  In any case, it has a nice pace and plenty of horror elements.


Yes, Richard. This is like the other one (RS) because it's a re-write of that one. I re-worked it. There is also a third one on the way (it was uploaded at the same time as these two). It's called FROM BEGINNING TO NOW, it's a comedy. Starts the same.

To elaborate on your question. He always finds the door. He even says, he's getting faster. There's a subtle story here that he is someone that is insecure and bad at making choices. He even says, I move faster, I make decisions faster. All done in order to survive, by finding the right door.

If you noticed, he ALWAYS closes the doors after he goes through them. This is a done as a set-up to the end. The one time he doesn't, it's fatal. I like to make things subtle.

Thanks for reading, Richard. Both of my shorts.
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Kia
Posted: February 20th, 2016, 9:26am Report to Moderator
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This one was really good. Good job.

It reminded me of that old, I think Canadian TV show - Are You Afraid of the Dark. I think this is something that could appeal to a younger audience. It's horror but you really don't show anything. Well, not until...
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