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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Wayward Moderators: bert
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  Author    Wayward  (currently 1534 views)
Don
Posted: February 14th, 2016, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Wayward by Meghan Baker - Series, Dramedy - A free-spirited girl flounders through her twenties while trying to become independent from a conformist mother. 28 pages - pdf, format


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Hunter
Posted: April 5th, 2016, 12:17am Report to Moderator
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For some reason fade in is on the title page. And pages aren't numbered.

On page 6, you have Ext. Highway and then right beneath it Int. Tyler's Car. Either get rid of the first one, or describe what is seen in the highway shot.

I like how Natalie and Tyler, especially Tyler, have no idea what they really want. It really shows how messy this relationship is.

Wow, on page 9 the mother seems really insensitive.

On page 11, Natalie asks "Is your little boy well?" this seems like awkward wording.

The voice-over is so rare that it seems odd when it appears.

I don't know whether this is supposed to be more of a half-hour or hour series, seems like the tone of an hour series, but it is on the short end for a half hour.


I would love feedback on any of these!
Back to Class: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1453330945/ (comedy series, RECENTLY UPDATED DEC. '16)
Cause & Effect: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1472594865/ (comedy-drama series)
Waking Up: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1452376264/ (comedy series)
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