Evolution's Eve by Gregory Mandarano - Sci Fi - When a sick little girl becomes the final component in a mad scientist's plan to become a god, her parents must race against the clock to save her before the world, and all humanity, is destroyed. 125 pages - pdf, format

I read the first 5 despite the log not really being my thing, and I was pleasantly surprised. The writing is efficient but more than descriptive, and the story is already evident.

The only change I would have made to the early dialogue was during the exchange between Falcon and his father. When the Father said "you shouldn't have paid for the ticket", I may have written, "I wouldn't have given you money for the ticket." I probably also would have provided his age in place of "young boy".

Like I said, not my genre, but I may read more when I get time. IMO, the writing is technically at a high level.

Wow Bogey, thanks for the kind words. I certainly appreciate it!

You're right of course about the age for Falcon as a young boy. I don't go out of my way to specify the exact ages of characters in the script, but I do peg Eve as an eleven year old girl, so it makes sense to specify that Falcon is eleven years old in the opening scene. I'll make that change.

As for Falcon's ticket, he definitely paid for it with his own money!

I look forward to your thoughts if you decide to read more.