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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Glory To God Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: March 19th, 2016, 5:56pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Glory To God by Vasean A Daniels - Drama - Gabriel is a man desperate to bring hope to his city, but to do that first he must bring Glory to God. 85 pages - pdf, format


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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  June 3rd, 2016, 2:43pm
revised draft
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GregoryM
Posted: March 20th, 2016, 4:05am Report to Moderator
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Just gonna chime in with a couple formatting things:

You don't need to number your scenes in a spec script, might as well get rid of them.

Try to keep your action paragraphs to a maximum of 4 lines. This means adding some line breaks. White space can be your friend!!!

Nothing kills a script deader in its tracks than giant chunks of dialogue.

The best way to fix this is to break the initial dialogue up with actions. During his speech, interrupt his speech with action lines that are describing the scene. Be more descriptive, use this as an opportunity to introduce characters in the audience, show what they're doing and how they're responding to the sermon.

In this way you won't have a giant chunk of dialogue, and you'll be able to get away with some introductions in the meanwhile.
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vwolf2
Posted: March 22nd, 2016, 7:27am Report to Moderator
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Thank you very much for your feedback. I'm going to apply those changes asap.
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