The Host by Barry Katz - Short, Comedy - A down-and-out parishioner makes a fruitful discovery. 3 pages - pdf, format

Nice quick read. Was raised Catholic so related to the background. Didn't really make me laugh - but it as a pleasant read

Barry,

Former altar boy here.  Not as funny as it could be.  Seems odd that the protag would have no money for the basket but enough for ingredients.  But that's me.  Also, the priest needs a better setup, something that would foreshadow his love of a bargain.  The couple's conversation is not quite enough.  But it's not a bad effort.

Best
Richard

Quoted from RichardR Former altar boy here.

Very brave of you to admit that, Richard.

It explains some of my jaded views.

Was a nice, easy read. I'm not religious at all so I didn't even know what the host was referring to at first. Maybe in the first scene you can have the wife glance over at some bread laid out to help morons like me follow along quicker.

Also, might be funnier if there's a scene where the guy is at the grocery store and sees the price of gluten free flour is way higher than normal flour, then just buys the normal flour and lies about it being gluten free.

The humour missed the mark for me.  Not sure who/what the joke was aimed at -- though I’m not particularly well versed in religious practices, so...  

A man jumps on an opportunity to scam money by selling supposedly gluten free sacramental bread -- only it seems others have also done so.  He gets his money regardless.  Maybe poking fun at all the different types of modern diet out there?    

Thanks for the read, all!

MarkItZero - I like your idea about the "regular" flour in the grocery... funny! Only problem with that is an additional location. I try to write my shorts with ease of production in mind.  They have a better chance of being produced that way.

As for the humor (or lack thereof) - comedy is very subjective, of course.  The concept is loosely based on true events.  I thought it would make for a fun little short, so I added some flair and also recruited some feedback for the ending, which previously ended with the priest looking the man up and down in disbelief.

I like the current ending, but am not wed to it.  Alternate ending suggestions are welcome!

Another former altar boy here (Im sure Father Tooley finally worked out who was taking short swigs of the altar wine bottle)

Can understand the premise, but would have like to seen a bit more character development from the priest. Not a LOL comedy but still hits the funny bone of some who get it.