Be Yourself by Buck Biestek - Short, Drama - Two teenage "Taggers" make their mark in life and form a special bond on the Brooklyn Bridge.   5 pages - pdf, format

So the formatting is pretty good and it reads quite well.

Were a few grammatical errors but they are easy to spot on a read through.

Story wise, I was starting to get into it and then it was all over and nothing really happened. I feel like there is a bigger story here, I hope you can find it.

Good luck

Buck,

Some notes.

I'm not from the tagging world, so take all comments with a large grain of salt.

For me, the opening reads as if these characters are talking for the audience, not themselves.  They're taggers.  They create art.  They know all that, and they don't need to talk to each other about it.  They might discuss aspects of the art, perspective, message, symbolism, etc., but they will have already accepted that they are doing good work.  They are being themselves, and they don't need to remind each other.

The arrival of the cop should provide conflict and another obstacle.  It doesn't.  He's down with tagging, and he salutes them.  Nope.  If he's going to do that, then why have him?  

So, I think you can do better if you give it a go.  Give these two a real conversation about the price of paint, girls, school.  Let them bitch about their parents and lives and lack of support.  Then, let the cop be real.  He doesn't applaud them.  He makes them cover their work with a layer of plain paint.  

Best
Richard

Quoted Text For me, the opening reads as if these characters are talking for the audience, not themselves.  They're taggers.  They create art.  They know all that, and they don't need to talk to each other about it.  They might discuss aspects of the art, perspective, message, symbolism, etc., but they will have already accepted that they are doing good work.  They are being themselves, and they don't need to remind each other.

Exactly - fix this and you're on your way