Who is Lana Findlay? by Ron Houghton - Short, Mystery, Thriller - A married woman coping with depression finds something much scarier to worry about.  21 pages - pdf, format

This one reads smoothly. The characters are well drawn. The slight twist at the end is good and the tension you have going through the script is well done.
Not sure about your formatting on pages 6 and 7 when she's searching the internet. But I'm still trying to learn so I'll leave that to some of the real script mechanics.
I will say that Sarah's monologue starting on page 17 struck me as a bit long. I have a little trouble believing Michael would let her go on for so long without interruption.

Overall, god work. Enjoyed it.

I liked the underlying story but thought it was too long at 21 pages.

Some other issues that I think need addressing.

SPOILERS:

You need to place a comma when directly addressing someone, whether it be by name, nickname, whatever.  For example "okay ma'am" should be "okay, ma'am".
You address people directly in dialogue often but never use the comma.

Page 2: "Do you want to start to counting my meds now?” maybe just "Do you want to start counting my meds now?"

I don’t understand how we, as readers or viewers, would get this, I think it’s not only unfilmable it also doesn’t make much sense, "but no matches seem to make any sense." I mean, how would they, nothing is in any sort of context.

On page 8 and 9 LISA resorts to WOMAN as a character.

I feel Lisa is way too casual and okay in regards to the way she talks about how her sister "bled to death" and lost a baby only two months ago. I think she would show more emotion.

How does Sarah make the link that Joey is the masked man? I either missed something or it is just a convenient plot turn. He does ask "anyone I know", but that question is just random and out of place. The thing about a great mystery is finally seeing how all the pieces that didn’t make sense piece together. If you just decide they do because you need them to, that really isn’t much of a story.

The whole exchange between Joey and Sarah is unbelievable. This guy broke into her house, pulled a gun on her, saw her naked, all to what, make her take him seriously? I'm not buying it. She should be mad, feel like he has gone too far, something. And then they finish the exchange like this (missing comma again):

SARAH
You’re a pretty strange guy Joey.
JOEY
Yeah, that’s what Lana used to say.

It doesn’t work in any way.

The one page monologue at the end is way too long, I agree with Wes. He would not let her ramble for that long. Not just that, it also makes for a hard read.

So again, I think the underlying story has substance. In my opinion it just needs to be cleaned up and compressed.

Good luck with it.

Ron,

Some notes.

First, this is a pretty solid piece, but I think you can make it better.  "Regimen" is not "regiment".  Words mean things.

SPOILERS

This is not a new story.  Wayward hubby commits murder.  Wife runs down the clues and then turns tables on hub.  Been done a lot. You do a nice job although I don't think you need the little daydream with the cops.  I'm guessing, she doesn't need that to doubt herself.

The internet searches don't need so much time and space.  Just show the obit and then highlight the name--Lisa.

Don't need the drive across town.  Put her on the doorstep.  Door opens--Lisa.

Again, when Sarah asks about Lana, just move on.

"I'd like to know about Lana....'
"Did you know her?"
"Yes."
"Come in."

I'm not sure why Sarah would begin to cry.  Finding out that Lana worked at same place as hub doesn't seem to be all that telling.

In next scene, Joey calls her "lisa findlay".   Needs to be shortened a bit.  As does the next scene.  Put them at the bench and halfway through it.  Begin with Joey talking about police.  The audience knows everything up till then.

"lisa tell you she was pregnant?"  pronoun refers to Lisa, and I think you want, "Lisa tell you Lana was pregnant?"

Joey's explanation for why he didn't reveal the baby's father to the police feels a bit lame.  Might be better if he said he did, but the guy had an alibi.  Of course, at that point, they might do a paternity test.  

And we get to the ending.  Sarah's speech seems too long for me.  The audience already knows most of this, and Michael knows all of it.  And it ends just as we suspected.  

I like how you built to this, but i had hoped it would end differently.  Still, a good read if a bit long.  You can lose some stuff that doesn't have a lot of story value and still have a good script.

Best
Richard

Hey scribes,

Thanks for the feedback. This was a weird script for me. I had the bathtub encounter floating in my head. So I challenged myself to a ODC, and then plowed on through the day, until I finished that night.  I was happy with it at  2:00am, but upon reflection, I agree with all the comments made. It does need a bit of work.

Thanks for the Read
Ron