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Taxi Joe by 0 - Short, Horror, Found Footage - Two amateur documentary film makers get more than they paid for when they interview Joe, a homeless man who lives in a taxi in the woods. - pdf, format
A very simple slasher script, that works as far as it goes.
Nice to see a story that's essentially outside of a taxi.
I do actually like the central premise, and think it could be expanded into a decent found footage movie.
It's too short, and does too little to be one of the scripts I would say is one of the best in the OWC, but if I was going to make a feature out of any of the entries I'd read, it would be this one.
I liked this one a lot and could totally see this working as a feature. Very well paced and crisply written. Very easy to see this in my head. I hope you consider expanding this.
Simple idea with plenty of potential. Title worked to pull me in. Put me in mind of Cowboy Sam...
I like the found footage approach -- minor issue is there’s no suggestion as to who found it.
Could work okay on screen, nasty visual with the hiker in the trunk. No real surprises here -- feels like you could’ve done more with the idea to flesh it out a little more.
If you decide to rewrite then think about the logic. The idea suggests Taxi Joe’s done this before, killing hikers/snoopers that is. But if people know about him, then how come no-ones put two and two together?
Short, brutal and to the point. Disappointed it didn’t creep me out as much as it could have.
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Well...I'm surprised to say that this is actually quite good. Pretty well written, too.
Short and sweet, but maybe a little too short, as a little more would surely add to the tension, which is oddly lacking.
Found footage scripts are tough to write and this ain't half bad, but there are instances where it doesn't quite work for me, in terms of what we're seeing.
The only real problem for me is that this doesn't adhere to the challenge. Sure, a woman is "trapped in a cab", and in the end, so is Becca, but that's not what this script is about...at all. So...I have to say, although good, this won't cut it.
I'd suggest adding a few pages to this. It would really help, as we need some time to really care about our 2 Protags...get to know them a bit. We also could use some added time in the finale, which just passes too quickly.
As a free standing script, I'll give you a strong B, as written, but in terms of this OWC, I can't give a grade over a D, as it just doesn't follow the challenge, IMO.
Creepy and nice. I absolutely agree with the others that it should be a feature. I would love to read it.
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It's well written but completely misses the point of the challenge. There's a taxi, but they're not stuck in it until the very end, so for me it's not eligible for consideration.
Outside of the challenge you should definitely take it forward, it is good work, but just doesn't adhere to the rules
They didn't have to be stuck in the taxi the whole time.
That was left up to the writer.
All the scripts I've read conformed to the rules.
Is this yours, my friend?
"They", or anyone didn't have to be stuck the whole time, but that was the theme of the challenge - the only constraint that was given, really.
This script did not have this as its theme at all.
If the challenge stated a taxi, or the like must be included as a central idea or character, then, yeah, this works. But, for me at least, in no way did this meet the challenge as stated.
Neat concept – making the taxi a junk heap, vs. a working car. I do agree this one played a bit fast and loose with the "trapped" parameters - but not so much that it can't be argued to have met them.
Two small typos
p. 1: Large enough (de-cap “L”) p. 3: transferred
My thoughts: good story concept overall… though I was hoping for more of a twist, vs. the straightforwardly brutal way it ended… And yes, this probably could be a good, nasty horror feature, ala Texas Chainsaw...
Scar Tissue, no idea where you're getting my interpretation as being for the entire duration of the piece from.
In this script, the trapped in a taxi theme is limited to a couple of lines, therefore I don't think it meets the initial brief. The fact that being trapped in a taxi is the theme of the challenge, this should play a large part of a script, here it does not.
This was well-written, but maybe a little too straightforward. It felt like everything that mattered could've fit into one scene. Some kids go looking for a homeless guy who lives in a taxi in the woods, and suffer the exact fate you would expect to befall you if you discovered a homeless guy living in a taxi in the woods. Some of the character actions really had me wondering.
I didn't see a compelling reason for the kids to go looking for this dude. And did Reggie say, “I bet he's taking a piss. I'll go find him” in the dark? That cat WANTS to die. Maybe these are stupid character horror tropes, but I'm sure you can do better on the rewrite.
As for the criteria question, the whole trapped in a taxi thing did feel tacked on to me. Maybe if they'd notice the hiker during the first visit, then returned later to free her, I could buy it being a key part of the story. I think the story would've had a little more direction in that case as well.