They're Gone by Rutger Oosterhoff - Short, Drama - Two adolescent girls, ones best friends, both feeling victimised by the other girl, decide to do be "The professional" to solve matters ones and for all. 5 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Some notes.

This is another script that hints that English is not the first language of the writer.  There are multiple mistakes.  The author needs to learn how to write standard English.

And there are problems with the story.  The fact that this is part of a film is not obvious to the audience.  You have to show the process.  You can't just say it on the page.  And while you set up the fight between the two girls, you don't set up the ending.  We know one girl has a rifle because of the film.  We  have no idea the rival has a rifle too.  That shouldn't come as a surprise.  

So, I think you should rethink this story.  Show us the filming.  Show us the fight.  Show us that both girls can shoot.  I know this is meant to be a cautionary tale about bullying, so work that in subtly.  

Best
Richard