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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Gilded Moderators: bert
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  Author    Gilded  (currently 958 views)
Don
Posted: December 21st, 2016, 5:50pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

Location
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Gilded by Karen Kelly - Drama - A journey in 1950s Tennessee about a naive Catholic Southern Belle who falls for an atheist, while trying to straddle sexuality and spirituality. 80 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work




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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  December 31st, 2016, 4:01pm
revised draft
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eldave1
Posted: December 26th, 2016, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



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Karen: many grammatical and format errors need attention,


Quoted Text
INT.MARRON FARM-MORNING


Spacing is wrong. Should be:

INT. MARRON FARM - MORNING


Quoted Text
A GOLD CROSS lays against a white dress worn by a
plump,white, southern belle VIRGINIA(17) sh she runs out of
the house.The CONGREGATION of white southerners SING along


space needed between plump, and white.

sh - she = typo.

Space needed between house. and The


Quoted Text
EXT.MARRON FARM-CONTINUOUS


Should be:

EXT. MARRON FARM - CONTINUOUS

Quoted Text

The songs continues as Virginia runs into the family car.We


Space needed between car. and We

You have these errors throughout the script - a good scrubbing is in order.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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