Hello, your script is too long for a short, and too short for a feature. At 50 pages, this script might as well be the pilot episode for a series. I would recommend maybe lengthening this out, this seems like a very interesting story that could easily lend itself to a 90 page feature screenplay. Nonetheless I read the first couple of pages and there are many mistakes. I can provide you with a couple of examples.
Code EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - DAY
No longer at a black screen |
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This action line is unnecessary, we know we aren't looking at a black screen anymore because you already placed the scene at a Rooftop in your slugline.
Code She has smeared make up and bags under her eyes
from lack of sleep |
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Get rid of the "lack of sleep" bit, we can already conclude that's the case from the bags under her eyes. I would recommend this because: 1) Screenplays are solely for what the audience can directly see 2) It reads a bit amateurish.
Code Alex is looking through binoculars |
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Change to Alex looks through binoculars There are more mistakes, but I can't get though all of them. My advice for you would be to read many more screenplays, it has helped me tremendously. Best of Luck, Luis |