Some problems out of the shoot.
Quoted Text VIRGINIA, PRESENT DAY |
What this? If you meant it to be a SUPER - it comes after some description and don't think you need present day - it 's assumed. So - should be something like: EXT. WOODS - AFTERNOON Massive, gorgeous oak trees stretch endlessly in every direction, fading away into the misty air. They tower into the air, their leaves swallowing up the sky. SUPER: VIRGINIA (Might as also indicate where) You fail to introduce Aaron and Chuck as characters before they speak. A basic error.
Quoted Text AARON (offscreen) What the stripey tiger tits are you
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Should be: AARON (O.S) What the stripey tiger tits are you doing over there? Lose all the camera directions and Cut to Throughout - you can lose the "is" and save space. Here is an example:
Quoted Text CHUCK is an overweight, pudgy freshman in his early teens. with long hair perpetually in his face.
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Better is: CHUCK, pudgy, early teens. with long hair perpetually in his face. This from page 1 - so you have a lot of clean up to do I am guessing. |