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Blink Principal (currently 844 views)
Don
Posted: February 7th, 2018, 10:20am
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So, what are you writing?
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Blink Principal by Michael Taylor - Short, Comedy - A classroom prank goes wrong. 5 pages - pdf, format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
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eldave1
Posted: February 10th, 2018, 9:00pm
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Location Southern California
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Micheal:
This:
Quoted Text
INT. AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY The camera zooms out from an American flag to show an average American suburban classroom. The teacher and students are dressed in Nazi uniforms. The kids are all talking and giggling with one another before the class begins. The teacher is writing on the board. The bell rings, causing the students to quiet down and face forward.
Has several basic problems. Characters are not properly introduced (in CAPS and described). Key sounds not capped and written passively - e.g., The Teacher is writing - reads better as - The Teacher writes.
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MikeCashman
Posted: May 22nd, 2020, 12:57pm
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This script did nothing for me. I even read it twice, but I just do not get the "JOKE". There isn't any comedy here. And in many ways this script is actually unrealistic. There would never be a class that would go to that extreme to pull a joke on a new student. So this may be original, it just doesn't hit a homerun. Sorry. I will pass on this one.
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