Gruncle by Richard F. Russell - Short, Drama - Three teens find problems in the stories told by one teen's Great Uncle. 12 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Richard,

I enjoyed this short little script you have here. Was interesting.

You need to show us that Matt has a cowboy hat. When he says "Hey thanks for this, I owe you one" I thought he was referring to some kind of favor that Tyler was going to do for him.

I liked the pacing of this script. The way it flowed was pretty well done and made it a very easy read. The introduction of the characters were well timed.

The ending was a nice little twist. Wasn't seeing that coming. I kinda wonder how a 75 year old man could overpower a 15 year old girl but it's not all too unbelievable.

This is a good, little short that would be easy to film. I'm curious as to what others have to say about this script.

Hi Richard,

This is a good short. I liked it's originality, an easy read and the dialogue was good.

SPOILER

i liked how the Uncle was made to look feeble and more than likely incapable of hurting anyone, making the twist more powerful.

Good luck with it

Nice one, Richard. That was really creepy. Good momentum. That was great how Gruncle's mental state is shifting with each new discovery and him finally "recovering" becomes a terrifying reveal.

Can't really think of any suggestions. Good job.  

All,

thanks much for the feedback.  This one was fun to write.  

Best
Richard