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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  What's In A Name?
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  Author    What's In A Name?  (currently 1092 views)
Don
Posted: February 18th, 2018, 5:30pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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What's In A Name? by Richard F. Russell - Short, Comedy - A company diversity meeting wades into uncharted waters. 6 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Don
Posted: July 16th, 2018, 2:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Fixed the broken link.

Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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SAC
Posted: July 18th, 2018, 11:13pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Hey Richard,

Good to see something up from you again. I'm sure I've missed a couple.

I always remembered you had a thing for social commentary with your scripts. Seems to be another one here, thought it doesn't quite work for me. I think I get what you're going for, but it just seems to get convoluted with the numerous labels they're throwing around and, after a while, I really kinda fell out of the read.

I wouldn't even presume to know what you mean with this.

Steve


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CindyLKeller
Posted: July 21st, 2018, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Richard,
Like Steve I fell out of the read when they were throwing names around.
Just wondering why these guys were doing this? Were they motivated by money somehow?


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
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eldave1
Posted: July 21st, 2018, 5:55pm Report to Moderator
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Didn't get this one at all. Sorry.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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jayrex
Posted: July 23rd, 2018, 12:15pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Doesn’t work for me.  I get the idea with the ending but it’s so ridiculous and OTT that I don’t think people would laugh, if filmed.  If you scale it back and make it more believable it should work.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: October 24th, 2018, 3:38am Report to Moderator
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I like this. I read this as a satirical piece about white men dominating business using loopholes in ridiculous red tape to maintain their control.

I would add more visuals into this, so we have something to see rather than just hear. Having a chart we can see with the categories rather than one of them using a laptop checklist - for example






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Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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Isiah
Posted: April 23rd, 2019, 10:13am Report to Moderator
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Seems a bit racist and prejudice to me. Ehhh script wasn't bad, just probably offensive to some.
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