Ammonia and Bleach by Breyon Brown - Short, Drama - A man trying to rekindle a dying relationship with his girlfriend realizes that everything that makes them different might be what holds them together.  8 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I think this is somewhere on the line between rom-com and dramedy.  The story had a nice charming quality that I think is a key ingredient in any good rom-com. The scenes are nice and cute and slot well together, although the CUT TOs are redundant. The bitter ending was a nice way to close the story.
Possibly rain streaking down window.’ I think you have to be more definite than that it is either streaking down or it is not.
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He hears Hanna YELLING in YIDDISH.
HANNA (In Yiddish) Nit keyn ! Ikh ton nit viln tsu trefn im !Ir visn ver ikh bin in libe mit // translation : No! I don’t want to meet him! You know who I’m in love with!//
I  think you’d write it this way:
He hears Hanna YELLING in YIDDISH.
HANNA
(subtitles)
No! I don’t want to meet him! You know who I’m in love with
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Page 7: stare sat her back.

should be stares back  at her, or similar
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Not bad.

Good title. Be a great name for a British double act!