SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is April 20th, 2024, 3:44am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Intrusive Surveillance
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Intrusive Surveillance  (currently 1159 views)
Don
Posted: March 11th, 2018, 3:10pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16417
Posts Per Day
1.93
Intrusive Surveillance by Maroun Rached - Short, Comedy - A man notices a surveillance camera inside a public toilet, and has a surprising conversation with the P.A. speaker. 6 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  March 11th, 2018, 9:31pm
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
MarkRenshaw
Posted: March 12th, 2018, 8:37am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
UK
Posts
2335
Posts Per Day
0.58
I suspect this has been posted in the wrong place!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 1 - 6
Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 12th, 2018, 8:55am Report to Moderator
Administrator


What good are choices if they're all bad?

Location
Nowhere special.
Posts
3064
Posts Per Day
0.57
I had been thinking the same thing when I saw that. Minor mishap.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 6
bert
Posted: March 12th, 2018, 11:22am Report to Moderator
Administrator


Buy the ticket, take the ride

Location
That's me in the corner
Posts
4233
Posts Per Day
0.61

Quoted from Mr. Blonde
I had been thinking the same thing when I saw that. Minor mishap.


Amended, thanks for calling it out, guys.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
Logged
Private Message Reply: 3 - 6
Colkurtz8
Posted: March 14th, 2018, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
--> Over There
Posts
1731
Posts Per Day
0.30
Maroun

This was a bit odd, intentionally so though.

A few awkward turns of phrase in the prose and dialogue but I got a few smirks out of it all the same.

Col.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 6
Maroun
Posted: March 14th, 2018, 6:39pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Paris, France
Posts
17
Posts Per Day
0.01
Hi Col,

Thanks for the read! Yes, the awkward turns of phrase occur because I'm not a native English speaker: that's what happens when you learn your English from Hollywood

Best,
Maroun.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 6
Colkurtz8
Posted: March 15th, 2018, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
--> Over There
Posts
1731
Posts Per Day
0.30

Quoted from Maroun
Yes, the awkward turns of phrase occur because I'm not a native English speaker: that's what happens when you learn your English from Hollywood


- Ah, yes, I half suspected this but didn't want to say because your english is easily good enough to be written by a native speaker...and can you think of a bigger insult than been mistaken for a foreign speaker when you are, in fact, native?

The clunky phrasing is minor, I've read far worse by native speakers.

Knowing this now makes the script all the more impressive, well done.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 6
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006