SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is June 25th, 2019, 3:59am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
Round 4 Scripts Posted

Excuses for last weekend



Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  A Generous Donation - WT - Filmed
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    A Generous Donation - WT - Filmed   (currently 1431 views)
Don
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:26am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
13067
Posts Per Day
1.94
A Generous Donation by Warren Duncan - Short, Drama - A homeless man receives a beautiful gift. 1 page - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work


Filmed as "Memories"



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  June 11th, 2019, 2:24pm
Logged
Site Private Message
khamanna
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:34am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
3164
Posts Per Day
0.89
Oh, Indian Giver, that was beautiful.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 29
Steven
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:37am Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Southern California
Posts
616
Posts Per Day
0.49
This was a good one.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 2 - 29
hawkeye
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 12:07pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Texas
Posts
808
Posts Per Day
0.34
Not as enamored with this as the others here, but still a nice little story.

Best of luck,
Gary


My web site and scripts can be found here:

Gary's web site
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 29
Zombie Sean
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:13pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


A boozer, a user, and a two-time loser

Location
Anywhere there's a zombie...
Posts
1458
Posts Per Day
0.29
A wonderful, uplifting tale. I enjoyed this one a lot, too.


MY WEBSITE

CLICK A POSTER
Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 29
MarkItZero
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:20pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Posts
707
Posts Per Day
0.61
That was great. Simple, effective, moving. Think I'll learn from this one.


That rug really tied the room together.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 29
AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:44pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
UK
Posts
2968
Posts Per Day
1.45
This probably needs some more pages to do it justice, drama is difficult in one page.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 6 - 29
JEStaats
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:50pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Tucson, AZ
Posts
753
Posts Per Day
0.71
Now you've gone and got me all choked up. I guess that means it was a pretty damn good little short. Nicely done!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 29
ScottM
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 8:41pm Report to Moderator
New-ish


Posts
61
Posts Per Day
0.13
Wow, that last line gave me goosebumps!

For one page that’s impressive.


Any thoughts on my work in progress would be appreciated.

The Digger

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1521688645/s-0/#num2
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 29
DanC
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 2:36pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Killing villains since 1980!

Location
Buffalo NY
Posts
1246
Posts Per Day
0.80
That was sad.  Good work getting so much across in such a short time.  Again, I wish that you'd spend more time with her and less on traffic and others.

Get to the crux of the story, fast.

Spoilers

If that's her dad, why only throw a pic down??  Work on that part and this could be really special.  Solid 3.  If I could do 3.5 I would.  This is slightly below the other 2 that got a 4 from me.

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 9 - 29
PrussianMosby
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 3:20pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Posts
1318
Posts Per Day
0.64
A Generous Donation

A super clean read. The expression isn't dramatic enough though. Like: Why didn't she care before? And why then should I be touched by those people? There's just a dramatic element missing that makes us identify more and make them reasonable. Still, not bad.
3


In the Head of the Driver (3p - drama, sports, SF)

Those Infinite Wolves  (8p - psychological horror)

Logged
Private Message Reply: 10 - 29
Stumpzian
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 5:14pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
North Carolina
Posts
680
Posts Per Day
0.37
Who knows what happens next or what has happened before (or why)?
All these one-pagers are completely self-contained. Readers can infer certain things if they pay attention to what the writer has implied. This applies to a lot of scripts in this competition, which is what makes the one-page challenge so fascinating.

That said, I take this one at face value. It's poignant. Thumbs up.




Logged
Private Message Reply: 11 - 29
RJP
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 10:30pm Report to Moderator
New-ish


Posts
79
Posts Per Day
0.16
Nice little tear jerker you got there. Is this a prequel to Eat Fresh by any chance? Before our homeless hero begins to devour souls on the subway? lol

Good job!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 12 - 29
ajr
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 7:04am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
1261
Posts Per Day
0.36
Great job. This is one I'm putting on reserve until I review the others - definitely gets a 4, may get a 5 depending on the quality of the rest.  Simple, yet moving, with the one line of dialogue being an extremely powerful statement.

One of the criteria I'm using in my head is to test if the story would be enhanced at 5 pages. This one doesn't need additional pages. The theme was conveyed perfectly, and there's a complete story within the 60 seconds of screen time.

And I won't penalize you for it writer, but please do me a favor and look up the origins of the term "Indian Giver"...

(0:

AJR


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 29
eldave1
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 10:11am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Southern California
Posts
4648
Posts Per Day
2.60
Very nice job here.

SPOILERS

I would shorten this up:


Quoted Text
“Dementia
sufferer. Please help. Any donations will be appreciated. I
won’t remember your face, but I will remember your
generosity. God bless you.


It's a really long sign.

That's a real nit issue I know.

I enjoyed this one - great work


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 14 - 29
 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Drama Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006