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Leave Them Hanging - WT (currently 1793 views) |
Don |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:31am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16417 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
Leave Them Hanging by 0 - Short, Western - Sometimes no last words can last forever - pdf, format
Writer interested in feedback on this work |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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DanC |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 12:51pm |
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Old Timer Killing villains since 1980!
LocationBuffalo NY Posts1131 Posts Per Day 0.34 |
This was pretty good. Complete story. Few typos, but expected.
Gave it a 4
Dan |
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Reply: 1 - 20 |
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Gary in Houston |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 12:55pm |
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January Project Group
LocationTexas Posts1306 Posts Per Day 0.32 |
Okay, now this is a story. Liked the setup, then the twist, and the how you wrapped it up. Great work for a one-pager.
Best of luck, Gary |
| Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
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Reply: 2 - 20 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 12:59pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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Reply: 3 - 20 |
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JEStaats |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 1:02pm |
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Old Timer No sh*t, there I was....
LocationTucson, AZ Posts1735 Posts Per Day 0.62 |
Great title. The term gallows would be more fitting than hanging scaffold...technicalities.
I liked this. I've had a very similar story knocking around in my head for a while. Nice job. |
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HyperMatt |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 1:36pm |
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New
LocationLondon, UK Posts440 Posts Per Day 0.17 |
Nice authentic story. Felt the emotion of the piece (did hangman in the West wear hoods?). |
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Reply: 5 - 20 |
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PrussianMosby |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:18pm |
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Posts1399 Posts Per Day 0.37 |
Leave Them Hanging
Not completely cohesive, especially the resolution. 2
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Reply: 6 - 20 |
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AnthonyCawood |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:23pm |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts4321 Posts Per Day 1.13 |
A couple of typos, gallows a better choice of words and don't think hangmen wore hoods in the Old West as it tended to be the Sherrif who carried out the hanging... but I enjoyed this one, |
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Reply: 7 - 20 |
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irish eyes |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 7:52pm |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1865 Posts Per Day 0.36 |
A nice little story with a great title significantly being used for two reasons.. clever |
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ScottM |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 8:10pm |
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Posts49 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
Not bad, but would it really have mattered if they kept him alive? What would the alternate outcome be? |
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Warren |
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:34pm |
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Of The Ancients A man who has taught his mind to misbehave
LocationSydney, Australia Posts3897 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
Pretty much always going to lose me instantly with a western, even if it is only one page. I truly hate them.
But here we go.
Are the stakes are that high? He’s a criminal, so why would anyone believe him? There is also no way to prove it, unless you maybe make him or the parents one race and him or the parents another so the kid will come out mixed race.
Maybe I'm thinking into it too much.
Damn westerns, who decided that was a good idea? |
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Reply: 10 - 20 |
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khamanna |
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 3:26am |
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January Project Group
Posts4195 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
It's a good one but I think the punch won't be translated to the screen as well. I think there should be a line about the perpetrator wanting to die from a bullet because it's a swift death. He's not getting it, so he lies and the lie works. Just a thought. |
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Reply: 11 - 20 |
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Zombie Sean |
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 10:38am |
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Old Timer
LocationColorado Posts1547 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
I liked it. I think making Annabelle's water break just as Chet gets hanged would be a good parallel. He drops, while the baby is just about to drop. Good story. |
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Stumpzian |
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 11:09am |
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January Project Group
LocationNorth Carolina Posts662 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Well-paced. This and several other stories are perfect for a get in/get out one-page script. I don't really need to know anymore.
A few misspellings (marshal/marshall, "to" instead of "too," "alright" instead of "all right") but not enough to mess things up. |
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jayrex |
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 4:35pm |
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Old Timer Cut to three weeks earlier
LocationLondon, UK Posts1420 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
It's a nice story. I like what you've done. Not the best but a solid effort. The title also fits in well with the ending. |
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Reply: 14 - 20 |
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