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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  C*nt Bomb Baseball
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  Author    C*nt Bomb Baseball  (currently 211 views)
Don
Posted: August 25th, 2018, 10:07am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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C*nt Bomb Baseball by Doug Tesch - Short, Comedy, Animated - The janitors from small town Podunk meet STAR TREK and the national pastime. 13 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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IamGlenn
Posted: August 26th, 2018, 4:07am Report to Moderator
Regular


:)

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Hey.

First slug doesn't have "day" or "night" in it.

Straight into sniffing used tampons..

On page two, and I'm not digging the bloody tampon humour.

Quite a few spelling mistakes and typos too.

By page 6, Jesus, Ghandi, Mother Teresa and Hitler were having a game of baseball.

Sorry, just not my thing at all. The humour didn't connect at all. Maybe others will like it.

Best of luck


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Dustin
Posted: August 26th, 2018, 12:23pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Yeah, this is way too OTT. I read a couple of pages... was lured in by the title. Not for me though.


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