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My question is regarding the third thing writers do, "Too much or little detail in the narrative"
So finally my question: How much information should put in the action line?
Do I keep it minimum two lines with a maximum of three?
Truth is I don't know. I've read some scripts on this site along with a few more from movies that have been produced and they have about two sentences of detail in the action. I'm just curious.
Also what information should you put on the action line? apart from the action that your character does.
It's up to you to decide how much is enough. Let other people (preferably those you trust) to read what you've written to get feedback on what works and doesn't work. And then, it comes down to you determine if you should follow the advice or ignore it. Ain't writing grand.
Hope this helps, Gabe
Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages. https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
Posting this from Scriptshadow: September 4 Carson Reeves From his review of: bodies bodies bodies Written by a new screenwriter.
There’s also too much mundane detail in the action. For example, there’s a scene where everyone’s playing a card game, smoking a joint, and every other line is an exorbitantly detailed explanation of what the characters are doing with the joint. “MATT receives the joint from SCOTT, takes a hit, and then holds it between two fingers as he adds a card to the card house he is building out of the abandoned game of Kings. Once the card has been delicately placed, he considers his creation for a beat, then passes the joint to CASEY.”
A veteran screenwriter knows you don’t have to write any of this. The reader will fill in these unimportant details themselves.
Much like the example you cited. You learn as you go.
Another very brief example is if you write something like a character makes coffee. If it's not intrinsic to plot you would not detail the character throwing the old filter out, placing a new one, turning the tap on, filling the water jug, switchng it on, warming the cup etc. You'd just write: Mike puts coffee on to percolate, sits back, reads the newspaper.
Posting this from Scriptshadow: September 4 Carson Reeves From his review of bodies bodies bodies Written by a new screenwriter.
There's also too much mundane detail in the action. For example, there's a scene where everyone's playing a card game, smoking a joint, and every other line is an exorbitantly detailed explanation of what the characters are doing with the joint. MATT receives the joint from SCOTT, take a hit, and then holds it between two fingers as he adds a card to the card house he is building out of the abandoned game of Kings. Once the card has been delicately placed, he considers his creation for a beat, then passes the joint to CASEY.
A veteran screenwriter knows you don't have to write any of this. The reader will fill in these unimportant details themselves.
Much like the example you cited. You learn as you go.
Another very brief example is if you write something like a character makes coffee. If it's not intrinsic to plot you would not detail the character throwing the old filter out, placing a new one, turning the tap on, filling the water jug, switching it on, warming the cup etc. You'd just write: Mike puts a coffee on to percolate, sits back, reads the newspaper.
Hope this helps a little.
It did but just to clarify. I just need to add information if it's important to the story and plot?
If the character had OCD, for example, perhaps the detailed coffee making might be relevant. Perhaps he changes the filter over and over, sterilises his mug with boiling water six times. Perhaps he accidently burns himself with the boiling water - his obsession turns dangerous. That might be a catalyst for him finally getting help from a doctor.
If the character had OCD, for example, perhaps the detailed coffee making might be relevant. Perhaps he changes the filter over and over, sterilizes his mug with boiling water six times. Perhaps he accidentally burns himself with the boiling water - his obsession turns dangerous. That might be a catalyst for him finally getting help from a doctor.
One of the things I think Robert McKee has said, and even despite being a script guru, he's correct with imo, is, that every line should serve the core of your specific story.
So, keep the focus on what your screenplay evokes as a whole and if this or that description and even word has a merit with regard to the true "experience".
On a personal note I also think one should trust himself and follow his own instincts. Everything else would be mechanic, working by numbers, and with that, feel unnatural. Better show you got your own approach as a subjective being. That's treating people truthful.
Another very brief example is if you write something like a character makes coffee. If it's not intrinsic to plot you would not detail the character throwing the old filter out, placing a new one, turning the tap on, filling the water jug, switchng it on, warming the cup etc. You'd just write: Mike puts coffee on to percolate, sits back, reads the newspaper.
Hope this helps a little.
Doesn't this depend on context? It may be a drama and the character is grieving, for example. Describing mundane actions like this can help show the grieving process or even be used to signify getting over an ordeal.
My question is regarding the third thing writers do, "Too much or little detail in the narrative"
So finally my question: How much information should put in the action line?
Do I keep it minimum two lines with a maximum of three?
Truth is I don't know. I've read some scripts on this site along with a few more from movies that have been produced and they have about two sentences of detail in the action. I'm just curious.
Also what information should you put on the action line? apart from the action that your character does.
No really a correct answer here. Only can tell you what I do.
I insert spaces as I imagine the eye moving watching the scene. e.g., rather than:
Dave types at his computer. Laura enters, gun in hand.
I would write:
Dave types at his computer.
Laura enters, gun in hand.
Obviously that is vastly over simplified - the point being is that I want a viewer/reader to see Dave first mindlessly typing away and then see Laura a moment later.
Action words are important and I try to eliminate the more pedestrian ones unless they are needed. Let's say I'm tipsy and bar hopping.
e.g., you could write Dave walks into a bar.
walk too pedestrian - better as:
Dave stumbles into a bar.
And then there is tone. Sometimes you have to write more descriptively then as otherwise efficient because you are either setting the tone of a character or a setting.
Take the Dave is writing example above. So much different as:
Dave at his computer, an empty coffee cup and ash tray crammed with cigarettes butts on his desk.
Those things can let a reader know Dave has been there awhile.
No really a correct answer here. Only can tell you what I do.
I insert spaces as I imagine the eye moving watching the scene. e.g., rather than:
Dave types at his computer. Laura enters, gun in hand.
I would write:
Dave types at his computer.
Laura enters, gun in hand.
Obviously that is vastly over simplified - the point being is that I want a viewer/reader to see Dave first mindlessly typing away and then see Laura a moment later.
Action words are important and I try to eliminate the more pedestrian ones unless they are needed. Let's say I'm tipsy and bar hopping.
e.g., you could write Dave walks into a bar.
walk too pedestrian - better as:
Dave stumbles into a bar.
And then there is tone. Sometimes you have to write more descriptively then as otherwise efficient because you are either setting the tone of a character or a setting.
Take the Dave is writing example above. So much different as:
Dave at his computer, an empty coffee cup and ash tray crammed with cigarettes butts on his desk.
Those things can let a reader know Dave has been there awhile.
Anyway - just musing
This is extremely helpful. Thank you. Also what do you mean exactly by pedestrian words? You've sparked some curiosity. What are pedestrian words I should avoid? If you can be more specific.
I just need to add information if it's important to the story and plot?
Yes...and no.
You have to remember that you're writing a story. Sure it's in script format, but it's a story that you want people to enjoy and you want them to turn the page.
If you only include stuff that pertains strictly to the story and plot, it may sound like instructions on how to most effectively watch paint dry.
Be judicious with anything that doesn't pertain to the story or plot, but don't forsake it just because you read some "rule" in a book somewhere. If you can suck me into the scene with some unfilmables, do it.
If you're in doubt, read some spec scripts that got made. Copy them. Learn their method. Create your own. Collect your Oscar.