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Superheroes Star Date 3322 (currently 2764 views) |
Don |
Posted: November 18th, 2018, 11:30am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16417 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
Superheroes Star Date 3322 by Barry John Terblanche - Comedy, Action - Superman after "stuffing-up" is banished from earth in 2019. He returns aboard Star Trek in year 3322 to persuade other superheroes and X-men to save earth / fight approaching BORG. 154 pages - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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eldave1 |
Posted: November 21st, 2018, 11:41am |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Barry: Some real basic issues out of the shoot. The formatting is off. Look at any samples here on this site. Either download some free script-writing software of buy one and the formatting will be done a automatically for you.
Quoted Text V.O: A young child in the movie house; GO SUPERMAN. |
Wrong format. Should be: YOUNG CHILD (V.O) Go Superman.
Quoted Text V.O: HANCOCK shouting over the Superman movie sound. STOP!
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Wrong Format and Character error. You need to intro a character before putting his dialogue in and he should be intro'd in CAPS e.g., MAN'S VOICE (V.O) Stop! Cut! Hold it! Later you have breaks in the dialogue without re-establishing who's speaking. |
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BarryJohn |
Posted: November 23rd, 2018, 10:57am |
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New Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..
LocationSouth Africa Posts349 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Eldave1 . Thanks for your advise - input. I'll take heed to rectify. PS: Did you read it through ~ the whole script, If so what is your opinion of it ? Regards; Barry John Terblanche |
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BarryJohn |
Posted: November 23rd, 2018, 11:03am |
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New Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..
LocationSouth Africa Posts349 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Eldave1 or any one else - Can you recommend a FREE script-writing software to download? Regards; Barry John Terblanche |
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Matthew Taylor |
Posted: November 23rd, 2018, 11:16am |
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January Project Group
LocationShakespeare's county Posts1770 Posts Per Day 0.88 |
I use writer duet - it's online based so no need to download |
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42.2
Two steps to writing a good screenplay: 1) Write a bad one 2) Fix it |
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eldave1 |
Posted: November 23rd, 2018, 11:40am |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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MarkItZero |
Posted: November 23rd, 2018, 1:48pm |
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Old Timer
Posts1007 Posts Per Day 0.35 |
Eldave1 or any one else - Can you recommend a FREE script-writing software to download? Regards; Barry John Terblanche |
Hey Barry, The wise Anthony Cawood has written up about screenwriting software here. The post has lots of other good screenwriting related information if you keep scrolling down. For basic formatting stuff, I would recommend Trottier's The Screenwriter's Bible and also just reading lots of pro scripts like those found here. |
| That rug really tied the room together. |
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HyperMatt |
Posted: November 23rd, 2018, 7:28pm |
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New
LocationLondon, UK Posts440 Posts Per Day 0.17 |
Thanks, I think this is useful to a lot of us. I just changed computers and finding great difficulty transferring Final Draft to my new PC. |
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eldave1 |
Posted: November 24th, 2018, 11:36am |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Thanks, I think this is useful to a lot of us.
I just changed computers and finding great difficulty transferring Final Draft to my new PC.
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No problem - hope you find one that suits you |
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Reply: 8 - 18 |
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BarryJohn |
Posted: November 27th, 2018, 10:28am |
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New Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..
LocationSouth Africa Posts349 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Hi ALL. Re- my posted screenplay Superheroes Star Date 3322. I understand that as a 1st time writer my script my not be written in accordance to correct format etc... I'm seeking opinions on the story / originality - good to make it on the silver screen ?? PS; Its a slow starter but its MID to END tells the story. Regards; Barry John Terblanche |
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Matthew Taylor |
Posted: November 27th, 2018, 11:06am |
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January Project Group
LocationShakespeare's county Posts1770 Posts Per Day 0.88 |
Hi Barry
I haven't read much as formatting and other issues pointed out make for a difficult read.
However, at first, I thought you wrote this as a bit of fun/writing exercise - But from your comment it seems like you are serious about wanting this produced - so my point would be, you have a lot of copyrighted characters and material in there, have you thought about how that would work?
Matt |
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42.2
Two steps to writing a good screenplay: 1) Write a bad one 2) Fix it |
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Warren |
Posted: November 27th, 2018, 4:54pm |
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Of The Ancients A man who has taught his mind to misbehave
LocationSydney, Australia Posts3897 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
Hi ALL. Re- my posted screenplay Superheroes Star Date 3322. I understand that as a 1st time writer my script my not be written in accordance to correct format etc... I'm seeking opinions on the story / originality - good to make it on the silver screen ?? PS; Its a slow starter but its MID to END tells the story. Regards; Barry John Terblanche |
Hi Barry, I haven’t read the script but based on the logline alone I would say this has slim to no chance of making it to screen. It would be a copyright nightmare. You have Marvel characters, DC characters, and Star Trek characters. I'm sorry to say it, but I think the best you can hope for this script is to get some practice. |
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BarryJohn |
Posted: November 30th, 2018, 10:48am |
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New Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..
LocationSouth Africa Posts349 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Hi Matt and Warren. Thanks for your reply / input. True in that it has multiple characters ~ copyrights. Studios are known to work together collectively for the PROFIT. We have all seen the franchise movies from the different studios - be nice to see a movie of ALL the superheroes in one. Could be the beginning of something new / different ? I for one am tired of the same old Avengers - X-men - justice league - shield - etc... I'd kill to watch this movie!! READ IT. please....
Regards Barry John Terblanche |
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eldave1 |
Posted: December 30th, 2018, 7:26pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Barry: Why are you trolling my website? Got these two gems from you today.
Quoted Text Rest in peace I read only one of your shorts.
You CAN go go know.... no one is going to buy. R.I.P
Sincerely, Barry
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Quoted Text NO... No.. Against my better judgment I read another one!
you really must go go now.
Barry |
All because I did you the courtesy of commenting on your script? WTF is going on dude? |
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HyperMatt |
Posted: December 31st, 2018, 3:02am |
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LocationLondon, UK Posts440 Posts Per Day 0.17 |
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