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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Genetic Manipulation
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  Author    Genetic Manipulation  (currently 112 views)
Posted: December 30th, 2018, 10:03am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Genetic Manipulation by Michael Pari - Short, Comedy - Jimmy & Robert live life as the homies they always aspired to be until an extremely relevant topic pops up, changing it all for the better? 7 pages - pdf format

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Posted: December 30th, 2018, 11:24am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

London, UK
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This would be a nice and easy short to film. Dialogue heavy script. Some lines are funny. It’s not really my type of humour, but comedy is a very subjective and generational thing.

Jimmy and Robert should be capitalized when you first mention them and their ages, and it is clear from dialogue they are watching a sports game.

Are Robert and Jimmy’s dad got something going on?

Do you have to have so much dialogue capitalized? It’s distracting.

Page 2.  
but you just put it up right – but should be ‘But’.

Unconfortable – should be ‘Uncomfortable’.
Page 4.
Egoistic – ‘Egoistical?’
you're renting this place.. – get rid of extra full stop.  
thats right – should be ‘that’s’ right.
Page 5.
Boing – I think you meant ‘Boeing’

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