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So my first draft in this challenge was also 12 pages and I found two pages to cut. After reading this, there’s a lot of dialogue that could have been cut as well to get it under the limit. There’s way too much talky and not enough showy going on here.
It’s really not a romance and barely a comedy. So beyond the page limit thing, you aren’t necessarily meeting the parameters. But best of luck going forward.
Gary
Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
I didn't have a big dinner today, instead went for a desert. And a had a large coffee with it. I'm thinking that maybe I need to cut on that coffee after all. It makes my heart pound.
Also, that stitching class I'm taking is a pain. I'm so sorry I didn't drop it. We have to stitch half of a dress. It's not even a whole dress, it's a half of it. But what's done is done and I'll have to stick with it. Can't wait to move forward to other classes, like learning photoshop and autocad. I'll do much better at those.
I hope I helped some. Good luck to you with it. and good job on entering.
Oh no, A disclaimer at the beginning its over the page limit, is mostly dialogue AND that Aaron Sorkin would approve? Boy, you really know how to get me hyped for a good entry! This an't Masterclass. This is the OWC.
I'll read until I have no interest to. Let's see how far I get.
Page 3.
This no more more or less dialogue than is to be expected. You telling me you couldn't cut 2 pages out this somewhere? Lots of little direction in the dialogue I didn't care for, not sure how this was romantic or a comedy. The writer can write but kinda a lazy effort.
NOTE: This is longer than 10 pages but the script is mostly dialogue so it would be a 10 minutes or less short on screen. Aaron Sorkin would have approved. Please consider it
12 pages? DQ'ed - sorry.
If I have time later, I'll come back and give it a read.
I liked this big-time, but a lot of scripts could have benefitted from additional pages, so that has to be taken into consideration when scoring. But it's still one of the best scripts of the bunch.
I liked this big-time, but a lot of scripts could have benefitted from additional pages, so that has to be taken into consideration when scoring. But it's still one of the best scripts of the bunch.
It's 12 pages. that's 2 over the limit. IT's a DQ. There should be no consideration for a score.
I'm with Jeff. Spqr, your post is sort of puzzling to me.
As for the script itself, I didn't make it far. Besides the off-putting and snarky "warning" on the title page, the very first action line is back to back sentences starting with "We". Big no-no.