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Black Veil - Pilot by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - A young gunslinger driven to avenge her family's slaughter suddenly finds herself caught in the middle of a dangerous plot to reignite Earth's lost technology, and the war that nearly ended the planet. 58 pages - pdf format
Black Veil, Episode 2 - Independence Burning by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - Vying for her freedom, Effie makes a deal that puts everyone in jeopardy. Against her will, Abilene becomes a vital part of Kael's mission. - pdf format
Black Veil, Episode 3 - Mutiny by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - The Air Isles and Continental Prides unite in the bounty of Captain Slagg's ship and crew. Abilene and Effie plot to overthrow the Blood Raven, and save Kael. Miwa makes a deadly decision that threatens Shine Town's survival. 58 pages - pdf format
Black Veil, Episode 4 - Unity by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - Nola struggles with a new position, and the fallout in Shine Town. Unexpected doubt and betrayal puts the Blood Raven in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Abilene finds a new ally as enemies close in on their position. 54 pages - pdf format
Just randomly clicked the script and was pleasantly surprised. Didnt have time to read the whole thing, but the writer has a distinct voice and a strong grasp of pacing drama scene structure and dialogue. I was impreased and I rarely give a shit about other writer's work. The formatting is a bit old school and could stand to be cleaned up. I also think it might work better as a teaser and 4 act structure rather than 5 since some of the acts felt short but ultimately that doesnt matte. Id encourage the writer to comment or include their email address so ppl like myself can contact her. Id happily do a live read on twitch and point oit how to improve scenes and the formatting and discuss the work in general.
Hi GregoryM, thanks for taking the time to read the script and dropping some feedback for me. I have an old series bible that I wrote back in 2016. It needs updating and polishing. I've been using it to write Epi 2-4. Currently working on Episode 5. I figured as long as the characters are talking and the story is writing itself, I may as well put it to paper. I had producer Gabriel Horn from New Palace Films ask if he could keep the pilot, "on file". A few other producers liked it but it just didn't fit what they were looking for.
I'm not familiar with Twitch, but if you want to PM I'm open to it, and any other advice.
PS Y'all, one of my major flaws is pitching, loglines, and synopsis writing. Condensing a story rattles my brain sometimes. I always have too much to say.
Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement. Eve