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Pinnacle by Steven Clark - Short, Drama - After hearing a noise from one of the compartments, a disillusioned storage facility manager must decide whether or not to open it. 12 pages
production Budget - low to medium, 4 actors, car, gas station, front desk that could pass for a storage facility. - pdf format
Haha. Completely coincidental. Funny thing, the name felt funny when I wrote it, like it sounded familiar. But I’ve never seen My Fair Lady or any of the plays or movies, what have you. Now, if you can get me the Clara Higgins connection then that would be creepy.
The way this was set up as a horror film but then turned out not to be was well done. The genre description said drama but still expected zombies/bodies in the storage locker. Glad it didn't happen.
Ending was abrupt but matched the script's title. Also well done. Some of the writing in the middle didn't flow well; the scenes with the gas station and attendant. Not bad but just kind of clumsy. Would be interesting how the two characters might relate: both attendants/clerks.
Some dialog between Glenn and his wife didn't come across as natural either, especially the first time they're seen together. Overall enjoyed however.
The way this was set up as a horror film but then turned out not to be was well done. The genre description said drama but still expected zombies/bodies in the storage locker. Glad it didn't happen.
Ending was abrupt but matched the script's title. Also well done. Some of the writing in the middle didn't flow well; the scenes with the gas station and attendant. Not bad but just kind of clumsy. Would be interesting how the two characters might relate: both attendants/clerks.
Some dialog between Glenn and his wife didn't come across as natural either, especially the first time they're seen together. Overall enjoyed however.
Thanks so much for the feedback. I actually forgot to list genre and Don defaulted to horror initially -- the logline does sound like a horror, after all. But in the end it's really about a frustrated man who decides to take a risk.
I understand about the middle not flowing well. On Glenn's road trip I struggled trying to convey where he was and it's meaning. Basically he was in this beautiful country setting and sort of at peace -- until his phone rings. So maybe that's something to explore.