Tree Witch by Simon Parker - Short, Horror - A desperate father visits a witch who has been chained to a tree, begs for the life of his child. Hopes that she will use her magic, but she demands a blood oat in return. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

A blood oat?

Sounds very nutritious.

Hey, Simon

Strong desire, goal. A good narrowed idea for a short. Any plans on making this a feature?

First, I was under the impression that as long as JOHN was alive that the WITCH would remain alive. I don’t know if other readers will make this mistake or if it was just me, lol. If they do it could point to larger issue with clarity. I did like the implications of the blood oath (deal with the devil).

Also did they tie the witch to the tree first then the children got sick in retaliation or did the children get sick and the father’s tied her up as retaliation.

There were a few spelling errors.

I understand the plot need for having all the fathers stab the witch, but it seems forced at the expense of logic, imo.

I think you ask a pivotal question in the structure of your story, which is “how far would you go to save your child?” That’s relatable. But I think there’s room to go deeper given that question.

BLB

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Produce some visuals to set up the time and place that we're at in your movie.

This is far more interesting as your Black Sun script.

The only thing that doesn't work is having them stabbing her so heavily.

Such a pay-off only works if there's a clear set-up that makes sense to us.

Good luck.

I'll comment after I've seen you've read and commented on works from others.