Kiss Me, Stay Close by Patricia Bruce - Short, Drama - Feeling lost and unloved, a plucky gal turns heartache from her deadbeat dad into a brave but dangerous occupation. 13 pages  pdf format

production: 2 lead actors:  Female (22-29) and Male (30-40)

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Wow! I loved this.

Yes, many will get their knickers in a twist about your indulgent use of scene descriptions, but I could see what you were doing for the most part. However, on the first page when Jacklyn is being seduced by Todd, you might want to make it clear that we're watching a montage/series of shots. (We don't hear Todd 'entice' and 'charm' Jacklyn, so I assume it's a montage of some kind)

As for the story, it really connected with me. Not least because I grew up without a father, and have a mother who to this day hasn't said a word about him. Your line about her intellectual flourishes showing through, but being weighed down by her fucked up upbringing also rung true to me.

The twist at the end was great.

I will say that, like your scene descriptions, the tone and rhythm of this script feels very stylized. I imagine it would require actors and a director who really 'get' it.

I can also see why it won't be for everybody, but then, the best things never are.

Hello and Thanks Greg!!

I very much appreciate your review - it's so helpful and I learned a great deal!!

And your compliments made my day - Thanks!!