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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Geunhausen
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  Author    Geunhausen  (currently 400 views)
Don
Posted: December 14th, 2019, 6:05pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Geunhausen by Travis Flack - Short, Thriller, Psychological - {no logline} 3 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Kirsten
Posted: December 16th, 2019, 7:21am Report to Moderator
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Giving up is not an option....

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Hi Travis,

My amateur opinions...... take it lightly...

Spoilers...

It's an interesting piece about hitting rock bottom and the effects of drug addiction.  You've stuck with the theme of Geunhausen based on his drug problem.

The dialogue is good, the way he talks shows us he was highly educated. Having him hallucinate about his wife was another good way of showing us what he has lost. (or maybe it was good he lost her).

The formatting needs a lot of work. For example, you don't need your name and date on every page. The slugline needs to be in CAPS. Voice over is (V.O). Characters names for dialogue need to be in CAPS.
Just read some more scripts to see how to correctly format.

Cheers K.


"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
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