Stay Six Feet Apart by Rob Herzog - Short, Horror - A socially distanced flirtation takes a hideous turn.  2 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Rob.

Very well written. Should have been posted in ROMANCE and not horror... Me thinks.
With their faces like that, thank heavens you never went BODY sexual... That would be a HORROR!

Shoe lace budged short film!!

Well done here.

Hi, Rob,

A nice body horror short. Although the writing felt more like a dictation rather than screenwriting. More like it's written for a novel. But still a shocker at the end.

Good luck.

Hi Rob,

That was good, I smiled.... Nice and creepy at the end. Our future maybe? lol..... not you and me lol.....  

There were some errors with the formatting.

'A conversation starts. A joke/ice-breaker. They both laugh.'
You need to write the conversation or joke as dialogue.


'LATER
They stroll in a different part of the park. A little closer.'

It's better to write....'EXT. PARK - LATER
They stroll past the playground.'
You only need a slug to state where they are. If you want to describe what the place is like you can do it in the action line.


'LATER
Evening. The sun glows low on the horizon. More walking.'

Same with this, the slug needs to be EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Now that it's night it needs to be a new slug. You never write evening in the action.

Anyways good luck with this, bit of fun for a makeup artist, and easy peasy to film....

Cheers K

This script - "Stay Six Feet Apart" - has been sold and is no longer on the market. Thank you to Simply Scripts for allowing the writer and filmmaker to connect on this project. - Rob H.  

Let us know where we can watch it when the time comes. Well done.

BLB.

Congrats!