Filth Animal episode 2 of Horrific Tales of the Wickedly Macabre by Michael J. Kospiah (Wraparound Story Written by Sean Chipman) - Short, Horror - A mysterious animal control officer teaches an abusive dog owner what it's like to be treated like an animal. 28 pages




Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Michael,

Enjoyed the tale.

Thoughts (Spoilers!):

How does Dwight’s ex girlfriend know about his “condition”? Lol.

For some odd reason, I imagined Dwight as an actual dog but guess I was wrong. I think it will be better if he was. But I’ve been wrong before in my advice.

Hope this helps, Gabe

As always - well written! Mostly nit issues for me,

Quoted Text INT. IROC-Z – NIGHT

I’d definitely go with Camaro in the header

There are a lot of song rights are going to need for this one.  Normally, I don't even mention it since a known song cited is just typically for moo setting so who cares if you get that exact one or not. In this case the specific song lyrics feed specific plot points (e.g. establishing the year for example) - that my be a problem.

Don’t think you need this.

Quoted Text DWIGHT (murmurs) Where the fuck...?

PAGE 12/13 – Could be just me but I got confused here not quite realizing that Dwight was now the dog until really the 2nd time it happened. Maybe it’s just me – a suggestion. Maybe change to:

WOMAN JOGGER runs past. But stops, back pedals. Jogging in
place while staring toward the yard.

Walkman, playing “PARTY ALL THE TIME” by EDDIE MURPHY.

Her POV: the Pitbull chained to the pole rather than Dwight.

DWIGHT (CONT’D)
Thank God...

Pulls on his chain, short on breath.

DWIGHT (CONT’D)
(exhausted)
Please... help me...

She shakes her head in pity.

WOMAN JOGGER
You poor thing.


Anyway – just a thought.

Quoted Text DWIGHT (CONT’D) What, are you kids blind or just stupid? I need help, here! Now do me a favor and get our parents--

Our parents or your parents?

I did not like this:

Quoted Text FRITZINGER (CONT’D) I know all about you, Dwight. How your father left you when you were a kid. How your mother died from a drug overdose. And how you bounced around from foster home to foster home. Getting abused. Beaten. Like... an animal

I didn't really want a parachute for Dwight - i.e., an explanation for his cruelness and in particular this one since it kind of takes him off the hook for his actions. I actually would have preferred it just the inverse. i.e., Fritzinger rumimating about how in most cases cruelty is a matter of nuture - abusive parents, etc. - But not  in your case, Dwight.  You're just a cruel prick. And for no reason.

Anyway - enjoyed it - good work

Dave, regarding the opening and closing, those weren't Michael's fault, they were mine. A continuation of the wraparound from part 1.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde Dave, regarding the opening and closing, those weren't Michael's fault, they were mine. A continuation of the wraparound from part 1.

Got it

Nice work, guys and gals. The poster looks great!

Think I've read these before but nice to get a refresher.

I'm really getting into the wraparound story too. You're keeping me on the hook, Sean. The alternative history/time warp, Challenger reference is very nice. Not sure about some of the 'Then' slugs but everyone's a critic, right?

Now I know why Pia's avatar features an ugly roach.  

Still reading... Will come back.

Thanks for getting episode 2 up, Don. Any way we can get all these episodes under one thread in the series section of the boards?

Michael, I'll be posting a review for your episode shortly.

Quoted Text Hey Michael, Enjoyed the tale. Thoughts (Spoilers!): How does Dwight’s ex girlfriend know about his “condition”? Lol. For some odd reason, I imagined Dwight as an actual dog but guess I was wrong. I think it will be better if he was. But I’ve been wrong before in my advice.

Thanks for reading Gabe. To answer you and Dave in regards to Dwight appearing as a dog on screen as opposed to appearing as a human on screen while everyone treating him like a dog -- I dunno, I have a shorter version of this script that I lengthened to make part of Zack's horror thingie. And although people seem to like it (came top 10 in the one script comp I ever entered), it's a tough sell - people seem to hate filming with animal actors. And having like a "Homeward Bound" kinda thing going would give even more screen time to a dog. Also, it's more visually striking and provocative to have a naked human being with a cone around his neck, wearing a leash, etc. The story begins from the abused dog's POV, then Fritzinger's and then, once Dwight is hit with his ironic, Twilight Zoney, alternate reality punishment, the story takes place from his POV, though I didn't want to do POV shots constantly. I just thought it'd be more surreal to present him as a human being (because that's what he thinks he is) while everyone treats him like a dog.

RE: His ex-wife knowing that it's Dwight, she's in on this cosmic, karmic punishment because she was also a victim of Dwight's abuse.

Quoted Text There are a lot of song rights are going to need for this one.  Normally, I don't even mention it since a known song cited is just typically for moo setting so who cares if you get that exact one or not. In this case the specific song lyrics feed specific plot points (e.g. establishing the year for example) - that my be a problem.

Thanks for reading, Dave. As for the songs, I kinda just added them to give an 80's vibe for Zack's 80's themed horror anthology. I actually wrote this a few years ago, but lengthened it by about 7 pages to get it closer to the length of the other stories in the anthology. And, I wasn't sure what the intentions of this anthology were at first, I assumed it was going to be pitched somewhere. But when I found out that it was just to post here on SS, I kinda just let it fly with the licensed music, not worrying about song rights. The shorter version doesn't have this.

I do like your suggestion about Dwight just being a bad dude instead of giving him leeway for his abusive behavior with a tortured past backstory.

-- Michael

Wow. Michael, that's in response to the writing (very King-esque) and the impact of the story which packs a punch.
You definitely have a gift with painting great visuals and making us feel it.

Something about it reminded me of SK's Thinner - a great cautionary tale. Just the tone, I think.

WOMAN  JOGGER  runs  past.  But  stops,  back  pedals.  Jogging  in place  while  staring  sadly  at  the  dog,
I thought we'd see him naked, chained up, at that point. I had to keep track of when we were looking at dog and when we were looking at human. I read your response to Dave and Gabe btw.

The  same  PIT BULL  Dwight once  abuse. (small typo, abused) p.22.

Okay, I'm torn. From when we leave the Underground Den to the Dumpster, more on Angela and Fritzinger, and then the kids reappear?  I think it's a little overkill.

I thought it might end with Dwight going home with Angela to incur purgatory at her hands for the rest of his days but you instead continue with the perpetuation of violence (that being the message - violence begets more violence) with the kid's final decision.

This is horror so I get it, but I'm not fully sold on it turning full circle to the kids and their ultimate violent choice. There's a synchronicity to it but, I don't know, the Pollyanna in me wanted them to make a choice of kindness. That wouldn't work though would it, not in a horror anthology?

I loved a lot of the lines, especially 'we're all something... aren't we'?
Great work.

Quoted from Zack Thanks for getting episode 2 up, Don. Any way we can get all these episodes under one thread in the series section of the boards?...

I let Don know, Zack. Not sure if it needs to be an Admin thing otherwise I would give it a go myself. Thought I'd best check first.

* Bit the bullet. Moved to Series.
Don can decide...Maybe a Sticky once all Eps are up?  

Hey Michael,

I haven't read the 1st episode yet. But, I liked this one. The entire Twilight Zone kind of thing going on here is very interesting.

Luckily, I didn't have any confusion regarding Dwight being Human/Dog. It was very clear that to others he is a dog, but to him, he is a human.

I agree with Dave. Don't make him sympathetic by telling us his abusive background. He is what he is.

Hmm, I don't know...

This:

FRITZINGER (CONT’D)
I know all about you, Dwight. How
your father left you when you were
a kid. How your mother died from a
drug overdose. And how you bounced
around from foster home to foster
home. Getting abused. Beaten.
Like... an animal

The whole rest of the script hinges on this, doesn't it? That violence begets more violence. Doesn't really excuse Dwight, he could have had a mind of his own. It's the whole nature v nurture thing. Jmho.

What about the kids at the end? What's their excuse/reason?

Quoted from LC Now I know why Pia's avatar features an ugly roach.

While Michael's story has a great point to it, I'm afraid mine is only there to gross you out. Nothing deeper than that.  

Quoted from Grandma Bear While Michael's story has a great point to it, I'm afraid mine is only there to gross you out. Nothing deeper than that.

There's nothing special about horror if every script is horrific in the same way. =)

In all fairness, I'm pretty sure mine can't actually even be classified as horror, so, at least, you've got that going for you, Pia. Lol.

Quoted from LC Hmm, I don't know... This: FRITZINGER (CONT’D) I know all about you, Dwight. How your father left you when you were a kid. How your mother died from a drug overdose. And how you bounced around from foster home to foster home. Getting abused. Beaten. Like... an animal The whole rest of the script hinges on this, doesn't it? That violence begets more violence. Doesn't really excuse Dwight, he could have had a mind of his own. It's the whole nature v nurture thing. Jmho. What about the kids at the end? What's their excuse/reason?

JMMO - no. For me it kind of "unhinged" here.  It makes Dwight a victim because it is a litany of horrible things that happened to him, as opposed to horrible things he did.

It made me say... wait... does this guy really deserve this fate???? Am I rooting the wrong way here?

Just me