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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...    Things you are looking for  ›  Looking for a Screenwriter
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  Author    Looking for a Screenwriter  (currently 728 views)
Don Herston
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 4:26pm Report to Moderator
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Through the website Stage32, I pitched this screenplay to Will Raynor at Mandalay Pictures (in written form).

He liked the pitch and wanted to see a script. I informed him that I do not have a script, but I would sign a release for him to have it written by a qualified screenwriter. He never replied, and I do not have a direct email. It has been 5 months, my account at Stage32 is still locked, so I guess Will threw my pitch in the trash.

Still, it is a great story. If you read the synopsis, you will see that it requires someone with a great knowledge of history, particularly knowledge of what life was like for the slaves. It requires someone willing to do a lot of research, and I just do not have the time.


This story starts as a love story between a man and a woman who are both slaves. The man is a preacher, who sometimes preaches to the other slaves. Some members of a local church overhear the slave preaching, and they ask the plantation owner who agrees to let the slave preach at their church on Sunday mornings.

Every Sunday morning the slave goes to the church to preach, and then he goes back to the plantation. There are scenes where the preacher is preaching. He is a loud and dynamic speaker. He quotes a Bible passage from memory and then emotionally proclaims his message. His main themes are the love of God, how God loves him and is going to take care of him, and how we are to love and forgive others.

The members of the church decide to raise money to buy the preacher and give him his freedom. It was not easy for a bunch of poor farmers to raise that kind of money, but they do. The plantation owner agrees to the sale, but the preacher will not accept freedom while the woman he loves is still a slave.

The plantation owner was already planning to sell the young woman, but this revelation gives the sale greater urgency. Slaves are more likely to attempt to escape if they have something to live for, so if two slaves become very close one of them needs to be sold.

The price of an attractive young female slave is high. It is much higher than what the church raised to buy the preacher, but the plantation owner agrees to give the members of the church some time to raise the extra money. Unfortunately, the church is not able to raise the necessary funds.

The plantation owner has found a buyer willing to pay top dollar for the young woman, which means he will not have to take her to the slave market. The church has one more day to raise the money. Meaning there is one more day before the sale is to take place. The buyer stops by to see his soon-to-be property. He is very aggressive with the young woman and as she tries to pull away, she falls out a second-floor window.

The young woman is taken back to the slave quarters to die. When the preacher hears that she is dying, he becomes violent. He had already been on edge and struggling to control himself with the pending sale of the woman he loves as a sex slave. Because of his outburst, he is whipped and confined.

When members of the church hear what happened some of them go to the plantation house. The plantation owner is arguing with his attorney concerning legal action against the buyer for killing his slave. The members of the church offer to buy the preacher for the amount previously agreed to, and with the extra money they have raised, they offer to buy the young woman.

The lawyer advises the plantation owner to take the money since he will not collect anything from the buyer, and in a few hours the young woman will be dead and will have no value to anyone. The plantation owner asks the members of the church why they want to buy a dead slave, and they say the want her to die a free woman.

The plantation owner agrees, and one member of the church remains to finish the sale while the others go to retrieve the preacher. They take the preacher to the young woman. The small cabin is crowded as a wedding ceremony is performed. Everyone then leaves so the preacher can be alone with is wife. Sometime in the night, his wife loses consciousness, but the preacher stays at her side in prayer.

With the sunrise, she calls his name, and the preacher answers, I'm here, I will not leave you. She raises her head and starts to lift her body up, and she says, And it looks like I'm not going to leave you. She sets up on the bed and they embrace.

In the final scene the preacher is preaching before a packed church with his wife and kids in the front row.

Revision History (1 edits)
Don Herston  -  April 21st, 2021, 4:38pm
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 4:52pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Don,

People don't tend to sell script ideas anymore, not unless you are an established/famous screenwriter, and even then they tend to be hired to write the screenplay of their pitch.

If you don't personally have time to write this as a script then you may struggle to find someone unless you pay them, and there are writers who would definitely do that for a price, depends if you have funds for such an endeavour.

Best


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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SAC
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 5:06pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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That’s sounds like a great story, Don.  Powerful stuff.


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Don Herston
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 5:10pm Report to Moderator
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I’ll negotiate with anyone willing to partner. The pitch was accepted, I just didn't have a screenplay. It’s a great concept, if someone has the time. Maybe someone here already knows a great deal about the subject matter.
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Warren
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 6:54pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Damn, just reading that synopsis gave me goosebumps, you definitely have something here.

This might be something I'm willing to tackle, I don't know much about the history, but have worked on a script that required a hell of a lot of research (Shaka, based on the life of the 19th century Zulu king), so I'm willing to learn.

I'm currently waiting to hear back from another job which involves adapting a novel, but if that falls through and you are still left without a screenwriter, I think I'd like to have a chat about this.

You can check out my website and IMDb in my signature block.


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PKCardinal
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 3:40pm Report to Moderator
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Don,

Warren is the writer for this. No doubt.

Consider this a "recommend."

Best,
Paul


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
Don,

Warren is the writer for this. No doubt.

Consider this a "recommend."

Best,
Paul


Thanks for the recommend Means a lot.


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Don Herston
Posted: April 23rd, 2021, 12:29pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
Don,

Warren is the writer for this. No doubt.

Consider this a "recommend."

Best,
Paul


I did send him a PM, but he is busy presently, and I do hope it works out for him.
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Warren
Posted: April 25th, 2021, 11:52pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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Just bumping this again.

I haven't committed to anything as Don has said, so if it interests you you should inquire.


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Robert Timsah
Posted: May 4th, 2021, 9:15pm Report to Moderator
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Would you be able to get a script in front of Will Raynor again, though? You seem to already have it largely outlined. Just write it (even if it has gaps and is only 70 pages).

It's hard to find a screenwriter willing to write this who also has some extensive knowledge of slave trade. Any research they do will be on their dime and time.

Some story thoughts I had:

One of the white congregants starts out seemingly as a major racist - seems to hate the slave preacher.

After the slave preachers wife does indeed die - The supposed white racist begs the preacher to let the town burn and destroy the plantation - seeking revenge for him, whom they've grown to admire and love.

However, the Preacher always swore (in his first sermon) "You shall not take vengeance", the two argue about this in an earlier scene.

"Let me be yours, and the Lord's vengeance, my friend". Feels like the title would also reference retribution, revenge, vengeance, etc.

Just some thoughts to broaden the story out a bit.


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Don Herston
Posted: May 7th, 2021, 5:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Robert Timsah
Would you be able to get a script in front of Will Raynor again, though? You seem to already have it largely outlined. Just write it (even if it has gaps and is only 70 pages).

It's hard to find a screenwriter willing to write this who also has some extensive knowledge of slave trade. Any research they do will be on their dime and time.

Some story thoughts I had:

One of the white congregants starts out seemingly as a major racist - seems to hate the slave preacher.

After the slave preachers wife does indeed die - The supposed white racist begs the preacher to let the town burn and destroy the plantation - seeking revenge for him, whom they've grown to admire and love.

However, the Preacher always swore (in his first sermon) "You shall not take vengeance", the two argue about this in an earlier scene.

"Let me be yours, and the Lord's vengeance, my friend". Feels like the title would also reference retribution, revenge, vengeance, etc.

Just some thoughts to broaden the story out a bit.


Sorry for the delay in replying. It has been another busy week at work. I really don’t have enough free time for such a time-consuming project.

I do think this story has far more potential as an inspirational movie as opposed to being about revenge. What society needs right now is a good inspirational movie, and I do believe people would respond to it.

As I see it there would be conflict between the slaves as some slaves are offended at the preacher optimism considering the brutality of their lives. This conflict ends in the violent outburst by the preacher when his wife is dying.

When he is at the bed of his unconscious wife, the preacher struggles with how he always tells everyone to forgive, but then he exploded in an outburst of violence. He struggles with how he always says that God will always take care of him, but now, he doesn’t know if he deserves it. Then he hears his wife’s voice.

There is also conflict in the church. The church has lost its preacher, but some people leave the church when the slave is invited to preach. Over time some of those people return.
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Robert Timsah
Posted: May 9th, 2021, 7:58pm Report to Moderator
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I like that you believe in it. Stick to that. Your vision. I wish you luck with getting it written!  


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