The Enigma Complex by Riddle Burrito - Two young urban apartment hunters are introduced to the latest style of inner city living.   Short, Sci Fi

I appreciate the originality here, especially in the twist... but it just wasn't for me. Outside of the image of the guy sawing off his own foot, this felt like a dark, sci-fi comedy. And it didn't really seem budget-friendly. I did like the writing on the most part and, again, the originality in its premise and twist. But, I dunno, something about it didn't do it for me.

-- Michael

The dialogue was a bit OTN/expositional for me.

Not really a twist here

Didn't quite land for me

Writer,

Definitely a WTF moment in there, which I liked. Other than that, no real rhyme or reason, and that dude sawing his foot off never cropped up again, or added to this tale. I did like the writing and the effort, though.

Steve

Well it was sci fi but I didn't see a twist. Interesting imagery, especially with the guy sawing off his own foot. That was something. LOL. Very imaginative but for me it was missing the twist or sting at the end.

Hi writer,

Quoted Text Establishing shot of a gleaming white apartment

No real need to say "establishing shot" as its the first shot we see and it establishes where we are automatically.

Can't say I overly enjoyed this one. Definitely had a shock in it but the overall story left me wanting.

Congrats on getting an entry in.

All the best.

I like the idea and originality of the script, but it seemed like the setup had no relevance to the eventual payoff. The dude sawing his foot off was funny in a Monty Python, "Oh, this is abuse" type of way, but it felt too silly and took a lot away from the eventual payoff. People are still going to be thinking about the guy sawing off his foot as the whole "apartments built in parallel universes" dialogue is happening. The previous scene robs it of any impact.

Maybe something not so absurd, like a slaughterhouse or dirty restaurant, can bring home the idea of the smells not carrying better.

Still, a very cool idea that could be worked into a much more effective story.

Didn't quite get this one. Reasonably strong writing though.

Cool idea but there was no plot so didn't work for me as a standalone short.

Good effort though

There is no twist here. Maybe a shock. Didn't do it for me.

Interesting concept but there was no conflict or resolution. She entered the wrong space and that was it. Could just as well been a normal family living space oops with the same result. Dialogue was just too much as well. Candy's opening comment was way OTN. Good luck, writer.

Nice idea but didn't fully work for me. Concept is good if you ever think of expanding on it, inter-dimensional houses.
Well done.

The interdimensional space idea is good, liked that.

But not sure why someone would saw their foot off in one, felt forced in for the shock value.

No twist that I can see, but I still like it. Very creative idea, with the multiple apartments all sharing the same space. Thought the dude sawing off his foot was random as hell, in the best way possible.

Not sure this meets the challenge, but I'm happy I read it.

Um, to my shock and awe, I'm not sure what to make of this one...or how I feel about it. Not to my taste. It needs more salt and pepper, if that makes sense. Best of Irish luck.