Fish to Fry by Ron Popeil - A fisherman loses his girlfriend and his record for the largest catch.  Short, Drama

First one out the gate.

You wouldn't happen to be from Saginaw, Michigan, would you?

I know what it say under genre, but it feels like  comedy, but the sarcasm is definitely underlined here.

I'll admit, wasn't expecting that ending.

No qualms with the writing, pretty good.

One of my favorites so far... but don't read too much into that at the moment, haven't gotten to the others yet. Good job writer.

Reg

Cute story, brought to life by good, witty descriptions and dialogue. A few rough patches and nits. But overall, a good script and story. With shorts, I like a good finish but that's just my preference. Good job.

Good banter, fairly realistic. A couple of a-holes meant for each other.

*Spoilers*

The ending left me kind of flat. I think I would've preferred her driving away and, once out of sight, Rollie surfacing in triumph with his stupid trophy. As it is, it left me wondering why I didn't care if she saved him or not.

Well written and crafted, though. Met the challenge and low budget. Good work.

Loved the writing here, no idea what muskies are or why fish are measured by the inch (it's weight in the UK)... but it all felt very genuine and real.

Not entirely bought them as estranged in any real sense (not yet anyway), but the banter was lively and snarky, and the characters well-drawn.

Really enjoyed it... though she should definitely drive off!

Nicely written.

Very funny in spots too.
Dialogue was very good.

I liked John's idea re the ending. Give Georgia some much needed 'girl power' and have her finally learn something and drive off - that'd be a bit more satisfying.

Though thinking about it your ending is probably the more truthful - she'll stick with Rollie all her live long days.
Good job, Writer!

Hi writer,

I think calling this an estranged relationship is a bit of a stretch. These are normal marriage quibbles, and when I say normal I mean in the sense of this story, I don't realistically think anyone would be in this situation.

This is another that really come off more as a comedy, I don't think it sneaks into the drama genre.

The dialogue is the strongest part of this but the story didn't really grab me.

All the best.

Ron,

* What is a medium sized lake? Lake size seems rather subjective without comparison.
* I like the dialogue a lot. Nice sense of place
* Cute ending. I enjoyed it, liked spending time with these folks.

I disagree with other commenters and think this definitely qualifies as estranged. "Estranged" doesn't just mean physical separation over a period of time. You can become estranged from someone you see frequently, live with, or have some kind of ongoing relationship with. It just means the nature of your relationship has changed and you are, or feel, less emotionally or spiritually close to them. This relationship qualifies.

I'm not totally sure that the "third variable" entirely fits the bill - it hangs around for more than one page, as per Yuvraj's directions, but it's not so out-of-cirteria that it bothers.

Like I said, I enjoyed myself. Thanks for sharing

Ben, the third variable (object in this case) isn't actually seen until the finale.

Yuvraj made this point:


Of course, you can mention the third variable in your dialogs.

Just saying...

This one was fun. The characters were interesting, the dialogue snappy. I really dig that he's so completely thrown by the loss of the record. It really speaks to his station in life.

High marks all around from me.

This was an OK read from my side. I appreciate the comical aspect here but, not my cup of tea. Not an estrangement as per se, imo.

No hard feelings.

Good luck.