Slayers by J. F. Cooper - Two police officers argue what to do after an avoidable killing.  Short, Drama

Sort of figured what this was from the off for some reason, and the second one I've read that's more in the comedy zone than drama really and they are not even remotely estranged.

You don't technically reveal the third variable until the last page, but I struggle to believe that it wouldn't have been visible given you describe hit as 'huge'... but hey, camera angles and darkness...

Decent effort.

This definitely reads as a comedy writer. A few chuckles, but I have to agree the budding cops didn't feel to estranged to me.

Yea, the ending, didn't expect that.  Should have with all the mystery. Nice mis-direction. You do now how to entertain.

Good effort.

Reg

There's no estrangement, and I don't understand why Miller was so angry with Cooper if the reveal is... what it is... if that makes sense. This is my last read after 10 so maybe I'm getting punchy. I did like the flow of their back and forth, but it seems like it was a struggle to make it all fit within the parameters of this challenge - something I can relate with! lol

Good bait and switch at the end. I didn't see that one coming.

I went back and checked to see if the conversation was playing fair given the circumstances, and I guess it does.

My suggestion is to sharpen the conversation. The lines don't always seem natural.

A fun read overall.

Hi writer,

I very much appreciate that this didn't end the way I thought it was going too so kudos for that.

Biggest issue here is that these guys aren't estranged, I think you really missed the mark on that one.

This is also another that is listed as drama but plays out like a comedy. Just because it starts in what feels like a dramatic situation doesn't mean it's drama if the payoff is comical.

All the best.

Hi Coop,

Arguably the cops are newly estranged - again, interpreting "estrangement" to mean any kind of deep division of two people, not necessarily geographic estrangement - over their dispute of handling the death.

A nice cute little ending that was kind of able to predict with the first THUMP

An easy read. Thanks for sharing

This one came close, but didn't quite get there for me. I mean, I could tell there was going to be some misdirection. And, I kept trying to guess what it was. Not sure what it was that telegraphed it.

Still, I thought the writing was good. And, the short was fun.

Oh, and I'll be coming back here after the challenge is over. Please explain the Hawkeye joke. I'm obviously not bright enough to figure it out on my own.

Another gotcha! tale.

Very nicely written, v.nice dialogue, and an unexpected (for me, at least) outcome and turn of events.
Not sure these guys are estranged in the true sense. But...
Great job!

Well written and decent banter but too light in the estrangement requisite. It would've met the mark if they talked about being partners for years and making it more an emotional struggle. Kind of a break up after this event.

Should ticked the dramedy genre too. That would've been fitting.

Low budget except for the deer. It can be done but no one likes to work with animals.

Good job, writer.

The ending was surprising here as well! Going the dramedy route but, there is no real estrangement here. It feels tense rather than estranged.

Good luck.

Okay, Paul, since you asked about Hawkeye (all the clues were there). The alias J.F. Cooper (James Fenimore Cooper) wrote the Deerslayer and the main character was Hawkeye.

And no one caught that? I'm shocked! LOL

I knew there was something there! I just lacked the proper education to get it.

Thanks for the explanation. I thought about that longer than I should have, trying to figure it out, as I was certain you chose Hawkeye for a very specific reason.

I can sleep now. Thank you.