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My 1 and Only (currently 546 views)
Don
Posted: January 22nd, 2022, 6:01pm
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So, what are you writing?
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My 1 and Only (feature) by Bernard Antoine Mersier - Drama - Christopher is a dedicated father who is falsely accused by the mother of his daughter, leading to him doing time in jail creating a new hatred towards her once he's released. 92 pages
Synopsis ;
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Don revised draft
Nomad
Posted: January 25th, 2022, 4:07pm
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Hi, Bernard.
I read the first few pages and here are some of my notes:
You should have a copyright symbol and year on the cover sheet to protect yourself. The quote on page 1 is going to turn a lot of people off. Does it appear on screen? Is this the moral of the script? Why is this here? Your script reads more like a novel than a screenplay. You should write in an active voice instead of a passive voice. You have two main characters named Christian and Christopher. That will get confusing very quickly. Change one of the names to be completely different. That's about all I have from skimming the first few pages.
-Jordan
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