Don't Go Into The Woods by Steven Sallie - Short, Horror - A sister and brother ignore their mother's warning not to enter the woods around their home. 5 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi, Steven, gave this a read.

Indeed, this one felt anti-climatic. I expected something to happen at the end (as it's the case with horror) with the sounds and all. I feel it could've been better.

Good luck.

Hey Steven,

I thought your opening narrative action was quite effective visually and oriented us as an audience. I would use that same approach in describing the woods because it plays such a huge role in the story.

On another note... So there's a movie called "The Disappointment Room" starring the talented Kate Beckinsale (and I mean that sincerely, love her), but I couldn't even finish that movie... more importantly, I learned a valuable lesson when I couldn't get over the title and why it bothered me so much.

It's the word "disappointment." And it solidified a tried and true rule for me (that seems obvious in hindsight, lol) but NEVER title your move in the negative because it's too easy for an audience to slip into that negative state of mind about the story, especially when the material isn't the best, lol. (Disappointment isn't like bad with multiple connotations, a disappointment is a disappointment)

Anyway, I say all that to say, on page 4, you write "Very anti-climactic." CUT. CUT. CUT.

If the audience comes to that conclusion, that's one thing but don't tell them. I hope that made sense.

All the best,
BLB