Terror in the Great Woods of Saskatchewan!!! by Drongo Bum (writing as G. Chaucer) - As night falls, three lost Canadian loggers must find their truck in order to escape the horrors of the woods.  Short, Horror, Comedy

Only my third read and already my second Bigfoot...

Well not really...

This is well written enough but apart from the end it just feels to me like a list of a bunch of urban legends.

Wasn't sure which we'd get at the end but I think Bigfoot would have been better.

Well written. You have a knack for dialogue. The banter flowed really nicely throughout this, which is good because not a ton is happening otherwise. Lots of nods but I think this could have benefited from being more focused, and the payoff would still work just as much. Enjoyed reading!

Writer,

I commend you for trying to mash several legends into one but maybe it had been much better if you'd picked one in stead and ran with it.

That aside, this made me chuckle and the writing was good. Clearly you had fun concocting this and I had fun reading it.

Thanks for participating in our challenge.

All the best,

Reg

Another one that I actually had to read twice.  Not because I didn't understand the premise, but because I wanted to be sure I didn't miss any of the comic lines between these three!  Some really witty stuff here that kept me laughing until...it didn't.  I did not see that ending coming, although on the second read-through I saw the mention of the phantom log truck - Aha!  Anyway, very nice writing Mr. Chaucer, another pleasure to read for sure.  Good luck with it and thanks for joining in the fun of the Halloween OWC!

The title alone had me thinking we were in for a crazy ride. Lived on the prairies pretty much my whole life and never heard about a phantom logging truck that crushes cars on the highway at night, but you know what… there are a lot of fuqn’ tards out there driving double or tandem rigs that shouldn’t even be allowed keys to a car, that’s for sure. So maybe your legend really isn’t that far off.

Never heard anyone north of the 49th say ‘recon’ either, I think that’s more of a southern thing, but then again I don’t get out that much anymore these days, so it’s plausible, lol.

The siren headed demon who ran around killing everybody and making weird electronic noises like he was busted up in the head is a visual that I don’t think I’ll ever get out of my own head.

In the end, the story and the banter between the loggers was humorous enough to carry this for at least 5 pages, with a car crushing logging truck wedged in for good measure. I think if you had a little more action with the logging truck you could really ramp up the tension, cause those things are scary as shit to be on the road with, especially after seeing that Final Destination movie that had one lose its shit all over the highway.

Best of luck.

If you are going to write 5 pages of dialogue, you'd best be Quentin Tarantino master level to pull it off effectively. As it is - that was okay - certainly not bad at all. The banter worked to some degree. I just think it could be a lot better for what is effectively 95% of the story.

This reads like a long comedy sketch with the main laugh at the end - but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

-Mark  

Now, me? I get this. I used to be an arborist and a woodcutter, lived in Canada for three years, and have worked around a lot of rednecks. Never been lost, though. Loved the banter here but there's one flaw. Saskatchewan is flat as a pancake, isn't it? Where are you going to find a ridge to put a ranger tower? Ha, just kiddin'.

Yes, it has ULs but...hmmm. IDK.

Joke: How do you get a Canuck to apologize? Bump into him

Dear  Mr Chaucer,
certainly fits the brief. The bad boy banter lulls the unsuspecting reader/viewer into light hearted reverie then BOSH!! it's the ender men. . .  I mean Phil sees something but it's too late. Cruel and fearsome in its finality. All best JtF

Really liked this. Clean read and executed well. The action lines I love. Short and to the point. b

The ending gave me a bit of a jolt but enjoyed it!

Well done!

Damien

We've got a mish-mash one here. Very entertaining, got a good chuckle out of it.

I kinda liked this. Not a lot happens (until the end) but you did nicely to evoke atmosphere and characters.

And Rick's right, that scene out of FD with its domino effect is truly horribly memorable.

Another mashup UL? I'm glad you told right right off the bat.

Ender Man or Slender Man? I looked up Ender Man and it gave me a Minecraft Enderman Creepypasta... and even that is a fan movie script on Fandom. I am not acquainted with this video game. My last video game system was Nintendo 64, though I have played Xbox and PS2.

Also not familiar with Siren Head. Obviously I'm familiar with Bigfoot, and I should be since I wrote Bigfoot in Love.

Okay...

How old are these characters? You never tell us.

I love the Canadian banter here.

It may just be me, but the characters seem to sound alike and I can't really tell them apart.

Page 4 and the story's not really going anywhere.

Man, these Canucks sure aren't politically correct, eh? And homophobic.

What was that ending? I'm confused.

The urban legends seem to be throwaways here, mentioned in passing. The writing is decent though. Just needs more tightening and having the ULs play a part in the story. Congrats on entering.

The dialog read like a The Great White North comedy sketch.

The ending reminded me of the opening to Monty Python's Flying Circus with the big foot at the end.

The characters seemed real. Dennis was typical for a young, new guy. Ellery didn't seem to stand out other than seem like he knows his way around the area as well as Phil. Phil was your condescending veteran woodcutter who took a bit of delight being mean to the new guy. Unfortunately, five pages wasn't enough to round out the personalities better.

Stil, this was a likeable story.

I'm on the fence about this story. The banter was a mix of being
interesting and long winded. I would have liked a bit more action
to boost the tension. There were moments that I found myself chuckling
unexpectedly.
The best way to shut up 3 loggers and their UL mashups is with a crushing finish.