A Perfect Plan by George Willson - Short - A man kills his wife after robbing a bank, but now, he has to evade the questioning of the police and his nosey neighbor to finish his plan. - pdf, format

This was the first or second work i read of yours. must say it was quite an enjoyable read.

The nosey neighbor reminds of quite a few neighbors i have had that were really pesky. great character,written really well, to the point that i truly despised her because of how much she reminded me of neighbors past.

The cops were fun to read, loved how he is talking about how the neighbor would say he robbed the bank next and they were all having a good laugh. great stuff.

one or two things I'm iffy on:

1.) there was once or twice there was some dialouge i thought could have been written differently, but it was more like an option then a need.

2.) the ending was kind of so-so. yeah he should have been caught but at the same time if it wasn't for that darn neighbor of his poking around in his business.

i think i might have liked it more if it ended with them finding the body under the couch, instead of him having his rights read to him. leaves a bit more to the imagination...did he escape? kill the cops? or get arrested? leaves it open to interpretation.

outside of that, it was a fun and cool read and i enjoyed it.

Good Job.

Good point on the ending. It could have ended just as well with that last paragraph with no lead away and worked at least as well if not better. Sometimes implied works better than showing.  

Hey George,

I enjoyed this. I think the way you built up the suspense was fantastic. I'll agree that the ending would be better left open but it's not a big issue for me.

The scenario is a little familiar but the tension in the dialogue between John and the officers was great.

One suggestion would be to read over your dialogue and tighten it up. On the whole, it's very good but there are parts that felt a little wooden to me. For example, the dialogue in the teaser is a bit unnecessary and 'on the nose'. It doesn't tell us anything we can't work out for ourselves and it doesn't really add to your characters. If I were you, I'd keep the teaser visual.

Other than that, it was a fun read.

Good job!

Thanks for reading. I'm not surprised the scenario might feel familiar. It's kind of a cross between Dial M for Murder and The Tell Tale Heart. Poe meets Hitchcock, you might say. Second comment on the dialogue, too. Doesn't surprise me. I originally wrote this back in 2001 as a stage play, and worked it over to its current form recently. Didn't change much of the dialogue in the process though. The teaser was added, but I essentially moved a few of the earlier lines into it. Let's just say the teaser was a required addition.

Glad you liked it.

Ahhh, I see how you would need the dialogue if it were a stage play.

Yeah, but since it isn't, it probably needs a little updating for the visual drive.

Oh, and 1000 POSTS! -- The sequel.

I enjoyed reading your script. A kind of new idea, and I thought it was interesting.
I just hate those type of nosy people, so i ended up having a hatred for the nosy neightbour.  >

Nice work. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

THECHILLMAN - Out.

Thanks, Chillman. Glad you enjoyed it. As for more of my work, I'm all over the place. I'm one of the more prolific writers (I've even been called voluminous). Lord knows there's a lot more of my work out there.

Does anyone have a link where I can download pdf software... or whatever it is... I want to read George's stuff, but can't.

Quoted from BigBadBrian Does anyone have a link where I can download pdf software... or whatever it is... I want to read George's stuff, but can't.

Adobe should have a free trial i think, but don't hold me to that.

Goto http://www.adobe.com/acrobat/ and select "Get Adobe Reader" near the bottom of the page and you should be able to download the free reader. PDF is about the most universal file type, and Adobe has offered their reader for free for quite some time.

Bravo! Bravo!

I'm not lying at all... I found no errors whatsoever. You are unbelievably talented. Wow. That was great. Great as the greatest of greats.

My favorite short on these boards at the moment.

I didn't think he was going to get caught though. Ha... I'm going to read some other stuff of yours. Thank you for making my day sir.

No, thanks for making mine. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Hi George,

I smelted in laughs! The cops...Dumbest !

Sorry to tell you that, it maybe, I said maybe, works better in a stage than in a screen. Doesn’t matter, I love it. Great dialogues, George! I wouldn’t think too much in order to kill the watcher!  That bitch! Sorry, they are sometimes so indispensables. I was kidding !

About the dialogues of the teaser (are they necessary?) I agreed with my antecessors the images are enough! The images tell more thousand of…. Etc, etc…

I really wanted to write in English with your nimbleness and simplicity.

I envy you George! Great piece here!