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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Horror Scripts  /  Axe Mutilation
Posted by: Don, April 26th, 2004, 1:05pm
Axe Mutilation by Casey Wrenn - Horror - A group of friends are returning home from a Graduation Party, when they give out of gas. They are stranded alone in the middle of no where. Soon, they are hunted down one by one by a Axe murdering pyshco. - doc format.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, April 29th, 2004, 4:42pm; Reply: 1
Hey everyone, please give me some comments on this script good or bad. If anyone did like this, please tell me here. Later on, I might decide to do a Axe Mutilation 2.
Posted by: clever_name, April 29th, 2004, 11:51pm; Reply: 2
Hey Casey.

Grammar is sort of an issue in this script (ie. "fifteen bodies was found in the house’s basement, fifteen more was found" both was's should be were) which can kind of get on a reader's nerves.

Plus there were some parts that didn't even make sense: "We now that this is Amy, she looks to be about in her early or late teens." - - how can you look like you are both a young and old teen?

The dialogue is very monosyllabic, which is good if used sparingly, but when every line is either "Yeah man"  or "Shut up ass" it tends to get boring fast.

You also say this is inspired by Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and just because you change the setting doesn't mean you've mad an entirely new concept now.  This is essentially Montana Axe Massacre, with the location and weapon being the only thing seperating the two screenplays.  This is a poor man's TCM, and I beg of you not to make a second one.

Plus you don't seem to understand the concepts of action placement.  You have a big build-up for the first act, second act is all of the caveman dialogue I didn't like, and the third is about nine pages of action - - all of it very poor.

I'm sorry but this script isn't up to par, and to be honest, doesn't show much potential.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, April 30th, 2004, 3:06pm; Reply: 3
The only parts that were based on Texas Chainsaw Massacre was the beginning of the Narrarator speaking, and the end with the Narrarator speaking. Everything else was my own stuff.

And if i want to do a sequel, I can. I don't have to listen to you, saying "i beg of you, don't do a second". Please. And I do plan to do a sequel later this summer or next year, when I am done with other projects. But there is a 95% chance, that there won't be one anyway, beacuse the way I wanted to end.

I wanted people to think, I wonder if Jr. is going to to ever find Erin, and kill her, or what is going to to happen since they got the wrong man.

I do thank you for having a comment on this though, thank you for that. But if I can get an idea together, that is good, I will write a Axe Mutilation 2

Posted by: Kyle V., April 30th, 2004, 5:57pm; Reply: 4
Base Axe Mutilation 2 on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, just because I wanna see this jr. dude stick the axe between his crotch and make sexual gestures with it.

From what I read of this script, I saw many of your very own cliche's used. You had the usual college students, usual woman heroine and the usual killer. It seems like most of your scripts are based on the same plotm over and over again only with different characters, different settings and different weapons to kill. The only script that kind of seprated from your cliches was Night of the living dead 4, and that still did have the woman heroine and the college students.

There is something that I acknowledge. I acknowledge the fact that you said it was based on the Texas Chainsaw instead of some certain scripts I read who basically plageurized entire scripts and rearranged a few elements to make it seem original *cough*thesilhouette*cough*


Posted by: Maxwell, April 30th, 2004, 5:59pm; Reply: 5
I persoanlly think it was boring. I scanned it but I don't get how someone can get hit with an axe once and die and you call that horror. t wasn't very scary and predictable.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 1st, 2004, 10:31pm; Reply: 6
Anyone else want to share any more good or bad comments?
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, May 2nd, 2004, 12:00am; Reply: 7
I haven't had the time to read it yet but you told me a lot about it while you were writing it so I'll probably find some time although I do distain horror I can still watch and read the stuff that branches out from the genre

I think horror needs a new standard, definition if you will

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is one of the most annoying movies ever made because of that girl who scream for 50% of the film, that's smart dialogue right there (No not really) But it is on the other hand a well done B movie in all other aspects.

I wonder what is horror to you, whoever is reading this?

Maybe it is zombies craving brains, maybe it's the inbred family from Wrong Turn, or maybe it's a flesh eating virus that kills all the teens
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 4th, 2004, 5:57pm; Reply: 8
All these commenst are good, thanks a lot guys! All this great comments make me want to write 2 more just to get on yall's nerves (not included Wesley). I'm just not seeing how yall critize something when some of your scripts freaking boreing and even stupider than mine. I worked hard to get Axe Mutilation like I wanted it, so just annoy yall, Ther just might be a Axe Mutilation 2 and Axe Mutilation 3.

Any way, R.E. Freak, what do you think of it?
Posted by: clever_name, May 4th, 2004, 6:26pm; Reply: 9
1. I really don't see how you making another Axe Mutilation scripts is going to annoy anyone... I'll simply choose not to read it.

2. Don't get all worked up just because some people didn't like your script.  You should be proud of yourself for working hard enough to get it the way you like it...but that doesn't mean that just cause you worked hard automatically everyone is going to like your work.

3. If you don't want people to criticize your work - - don't post it.  Also don't beg for comments if you can't take the criticism.

4. Stupider is not a word.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 5th, 2004, 2:42pm; Reply: 10
No one asked for your little comment on that little message.

Yes, I worked hard getting this the way i wanted it.

Sometimes i w don't to post stuff on here, cause some people who just can't come up with a story, think it will be okay to take some one elses script and make it thiers.

But anyway, i was just kiding about the two sequels. The first one took me like a month in a half to do, so I'm not going to another one, unless my computer decides it can work right.
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, May 5th, 2004, 4:20pm; Reply: 11
Yeah my computer keeps getting a serious error and resetting on me so i just haven't written anything in a week or so but that doesn't stop me from using paper to get things done on

With that I could just scan it, but than not many people can read my writing because it's tiny
Posted by: clever_name, May 5th, 2004, 6:14pm; Reply: 12

Quoted from Coronaguy17, posted May 5th, 2004, 2:42pm at here
No one asked for your little comment on that little message.


Correct me if I am incorrect, but is this not a message board?  Are we not supposed to make comments?  Cause I may be missing something here...
Posted by: Maxwell, May 16th, 2004, 12:08pm; Reply: 13
Casey can't right scripts so he comes here asks for comments, then complains when someone tells him the truth.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 16th, 2004, 12:49pm; Reply: 14
Let's see you write a script. Ooh and your grammer is bad, it's WRITE, not RIGHT.
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, May 20th, 2004, 2:56pm; Reply: 15
I've read the first 6 pages and I don't see how people think it's bad, who cares about a couple grammer errors unless the writer cares

The first 6 pages are imaginative, if it's based off of Texas chainsaw but not really you shouldn't put that in there unless it's just like it later on i don't see a reason to mention that
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 25th, 2004, 9:04pm; Reply: 16
What do yall think if I wrote a Axe Mutilation Prequl, showing how Amy came to the Farm?

I'm still writing it, if some of you don't like the idea, but I want to know how many of you like the idea and how many of yall don't.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), May 29th, 2004, 8:02am; Reply: 17
Very basice movie. Your whole craft needs.... something. You just don't graps the concept of what a "SCREENPLAY" really is. It is a picture, put into words, so we "THE READER's" can visualize what we see.

I read a few pages of it and couldn't see a damn thing, but the fact you took an idea from someone else and made it your own.

I'd like to see you write another one and really think about what is "new" what is "old" and what's been "used"

I told myself over 2 years ago.. "NEVER WRITE A MOVIE THAT SEEMS TO DONE"

I get the feeling you write just to write. And that's good, but it also can't be taken serious when you do it that way.

If I'm writting something and I see it going the way of "POP CULTURE CRAP" like all new horror movies and comedy.... I will simply erase what I have and go from scratch, untill I find my niche.

I have wrote 2 trilogy's and seven other screenplays. One being a "SUPER MARIO BRO's" movie... Nintendo had read it and declined to release it's movie rights, but hey, it's still a great film... even if, we've seen him before.

See, I didn't take another idea and make it mine. I took someone else's idea and made it better.

Keep writting.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 29th, 2004, 10:03am; Reply: 18
I didn't take someone else's idea. That based off thing was the beginning only. Where the narrator is talking. That is it. The rest of the film is my own ideas.

But thanks. What trilogy's have you wrote?
Posted by: baltis (Guest), May 30th, 2004, 4:51am; Reply: 19
I have wrote the "CANYON TRILOGY" the first just being posted today and then "What a long strange trip it's been - TRILOGY"

Coffin Canyon and the other 2 are ZOMBIE westerns, set in a fictional utah desert.

W.A.L.S.T.I.B. is in the vien of creepshow & the twilight zones... Real good stuff in these movies. 15 stories across the 3 movies, that have never been done before.

I hope to be able to post them... I just registered them with the W.G.A. and got my copyrites in place. The name gave me a bit of a hassle, but as many of you know... a name cannont be copyrited in most cases.

I hope you give Canyon a look though... I'll be looking forward to seeing AXE M. 2 from you.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, May 30th, 2004, 1:42pm; Reply: 20
Cool. I'll give Canyon a lokk right now. Axe Mutilation 2: The Beginning will be ot soon, after i finish writing Camp Dead Remake.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), May 30th, 2004, 4:18pm; Reply: 21
Also, the grammer error's these guys are talking about are moot. They are not that big of a distraction. You miss-used a few common words that are often thought to be something else.... we all do it.

TUFF---TOUGH
To --- Too -- Two
Their -- Their's -- There's -- They're

You get the point.... You right good. You have a good style. You just need to spark some of your creativity on something epic, something your's and something new.

I'm not saying you copied every single snipit from the TCM, like these other guys are. I did see the beginning and some of the first couple pages that way. Everything else.... it just needs a little more diversity.

I really want to read what you come up with for the second one... I think with some time and some working out, you could make it really good. If all else fails, go back to the 3 act--postcard--plot point way.

Fill each act with as much new as possible.
act 1 - act 2 - act 3
30       60       30
Posted by: baltis (Guest), May 30th, 2004, 5:32pm; Reply: 22
"Right" was supposed to be write...

Here i am talking about grammer and can't even do it right myself... :(
Posted by: mwr311, May 30th, 2004, 8:30pm; Reply: 23
The script is the same as almost everyone you see. I like this one though. This would probably be the best work that I have seen fro Casey. Here's some advice though, leave it alone. Don't make a sequel. It's perfect the way it is.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), June 3rd, 2004, 10:04am; Reply: 24
My main problems with this screenplay are simple... "I went back and read it with a more open mind"

These "TEENS" are in a bar drinking...   ???

The Car wouldn't be going any slower, had it been full or almost empty...  ???

Steven is what, White or black?

Why would ERIN be with ROB and just up and go it alone on a dark road by herself? Better yet why would he let her go alone on a dark gravel road alone? "OKAY" is all he can mutter, nope! I don't buy it.

The ax killer just comes down and killes beth to quick. Why did he even let her live?

Where did ROB find GAS?

Why does ERIN not care that her friends are dead? "ARE CAR GAVE OUT ON GAS AND SOME GUY WITH AN AXE KILLED THEM"?? Alright.

The scene where she is picked up by the gas station guy just screams out "HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES"

This movie just screams TCM and HOATC and TCM3

It just does. It's got it's fair share of problems. I'm glad I went back thru it with a more open mind, it was an entertaining read and one many horror writers should check out.

Don't get discouraged. It's not bad by no means. It's just gotta find it's own face.

Make sure the follow up is something new and refreshing to the genre and above all else, yourself.
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, June 3rd, 2004, 2:36pm; Reply: 25
I think the TCM remake had a great way to set up the story and how they get where they get without it being to "Lets go to this old house and see what's inside" Of course they do that but at least not right away

Posted by: Coronaguy17, June 9th, 2004, 12:23am; Reply: 26
Those of you who LIKED Axe Mutilation, what would you like to happen or what what you like to go down in this prequal? I would like to know, cause when I do this, I want people to enjoy it cause there was things they liked and wanted in it, so let me know anything you think of, and I will keep a file on it to when I begin on it.
Posted by: mwr311, June 9th, 2004, 12:46am; Reply: 27
I think Casey needs to stop writing for awhile. He has ideas, some are good and some are terrible. His ideas have all been done before. If you go to Blockbuster I'm sure you're going to see tons of movies like his. What I think you should do is sit down and think really hard about a really good idea. Something that hasn't been done. Or it could be done with like a twist and all that good stuff.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, June 9th, 2004, 12:54am; Reply: 28
What would yall like to see go down in the prequal? This is before Erin and her frineds. The one where Amy is killed. Give me some ideas of what you would like to happen.
Posted by: thefotonut, June 9th, 2004, 1:32am; Reply: 29
I think there should be:

* alot of topless girls running around for no reason
* characters that speak shakesperean
* a bit of necrophilia
* an old lady that saves the day
* a talking automobile

Don't like the suggestions? Then you shouldn't ask. You're supposed to surprise us so we say "oohh I didn't expect that to happen"

Why don't you take the very best characters and scenes from a number of your scripts and combine them?

or

try writing a totally different genre to challenge yourself.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), June 9th, 2004, 4:47am; Reply: 30
I'd make it a musical.      "AXE MUTILATION: on ICE"

You won't be able to make a original slasher film. You just won't. They've all been done and done to death. You need to broaden your scope. You can have axe mutilation, but where can you have the axe mutilation? That is the question...

Take it back to the old-west. Learn some Cowboy slang, like I did, and go at it.
Take it into the dino era. Have it centered around some cave-men.
Take it to the medievil times. When is the last time you saw a knights and dragons slasher film?

New stuff is out there. You just have to have a good brain to work out the details so it doesn't become a cheese ball affair.

Nobody want's a horror movie that is silly, when it is clearly intended to be serious.

I bet I could write a slasher film set in the medievil times and make it good... I just might do that.

Anyway, you can make AXE MUTILATION the prequll and the follow up anyway you want. That's the glory part... it's yours to mess with and yours to toggle and fool with. However, it's are part to tell you if it's good or not.

Go out and make AXE MUTILATION 2 the best damn movie you can possibly make.
Posted by: Coronaguy17, June 9th, 2004, 10:50am; Reply: 31
thefotonut,

I ask for suggestions in a non dumb ass way. I was being serious in it, and you come up in here and be stupid out it. Trying to be Big Man, but you're not, so stop trying to be, and go grow up.
Posted by: thefotonut, June 9th, 2004, 6:36pm; Reply: 32
zonda I know you asked for suggestions and hence my answer, why? Cause I find it totally insulting when someone says " I don't have any ideas someone, fill my head!"  Why? Coming up with a story is your sole job! Not ours, so why don't you take a page out of your post and grow up!

THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST DEATH!

At least if you are going to continue writing this genre then maybe take Baltis's suggestions. All three are perfectly workable, but no, you won't do that because that means you have to stop and maybe do some research, right? God forbid that!

One of the best "horror" films (Not sure it really was a horror film) that I've ever watched was Battle Royale. Why don't you try and write something along those lines.
Posted by: Ian, June 9th, 2004, 7:38pm; Reply: 33
It's great to see originality added to the great but over used slasher genre. However, I'm still a sucker for a good old fashioned one that follows the formula. They're still entertaining provided they have suspense, gory deaths, cool characters etc. I think the trick is to add originality to the stuff that's already in there (if you can't think of anything COMPLETELY original). So maybe most slashers focus on teens. It doesn't mean ALL teens HAVE to be stereotypical losers like the virgin, the cheerleader, the jock, the b*tch, the pot head and the token black guy/girl who says "black people never make it in situations like this" etc. Create teens that have levels and character traits; ones we haven't seen a thousand times before. All slashers have deaths, but making them cool and inventive makes u forget how formulaic they are etc. I mean Friday the 13th was used the deaths as a marketing campaign! They were what people came to see.

Amongst all that rambling, what I'm saying is that if you can't think of a totally new idea, then focus on what you know and work REALLY hard on to give it a few little touches of originality and make it stand out from all the others. Attention to detail really makes a difference. I don't think the old slasher formula has become boring; I just think writers have become lazy.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), June 9th, 2004, 8:01pm; Reply: 34
I agree... But i think that HOLLYWOOD has grown even more lazy in the process. They don't want new, they want used. They want been there done that, cause they know how feeble minded the american public really is.

I still think that the slasher genre can be expanded upon. All it takes is a good mind and a decent concept. Adding a few more layers to Teenage characters is stero typical. Do something outside this.

I don't think Hollywood will make the next big thing. I think one of us or or many out there like us will.
Posted by: Maxwell, June 22nd, 2004, 5:00pm; Reply: 35
[quote by=baltis link=Blah.pl?b=horror,m=1083002708,s=30 date=1086774443]I'd make it a musical.      "AXE MUTILATION: on ICE"

I think the on ice version would be much better
Posted by: clever_name, June 22nd, 2004, 6:37pm; Reply: 36
Thefotonut was 100% right Casey, you shouldn't come on here asking for ideas.  I understand you want the reader's to enjoy your script, but if you want them to enjoy it - - write a good script!

Quick question:  How come only teenagers are stalked by slashers?  How come middle aged yuppies never have their board meetings crashed by an axe weilding maniac?
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, November 24th, 2004, 6:26pm; Reply: 37
So I came back to this and didn't see anyone mention the fact that this script is only about 40 pages without all the large spaces, that's a good place to begin criticism if that's what you wanted to do at this time but everybody just seemed to fight and argue about other stupid things that mean less to anyone than length should
Posted by: Scoob, December 13th, 2004, 3:15am; Reply: 38
Hi, where can i read this Axe Mutilation?
Posted by: R.E._Freak (Guest), December 13th, 2004, 2:49pm; Reply: 39
Go to the first page of the thread and click on the title of the script. It'll either open or ask you to download, depending on how you're set up.
Posted by: the goose, December 13th, 2004, 3:48pm; Reply: 40
No, it doesn't work. As this is now in production he's taken it off the site. IT'S BEING MADE! Cool.
Posted by: Antemasque, December 14th, 2004, 7:17pm; Reply: 41
i have been reading this message board and seeing all this "wonderful" reasoning. So i thought i would give it a read. I've read about half of it and Casey this script really is bad. Thats the truth so what i suggest to do is re-write it and make changes. Simply as that. You will get better don't worry. I mean look at my old scripts... they suck and you can ask anyone here about them. But i kept writing and with the help of everyone i got better and better. So don't be mad when someone says its bad move on and try something else. You will get better eventually.

Andrew
Posted by: Chris_MacGuffin, December 14th, 2004, 7:24pm; Reply: 42
He's still young - and it's great that he has a script sold.
Posted by: Scoob, December 14th, 2004, 7:40pm; Reply: 43
I have to say its not a bad way of getting publicity, all the reviews on this film were too
tempting for me not to have a look at it.
I still can not open it, it says that the file is not there anymore, but i beleive i have read some of Casey's other work, namely The Campus Killer part 1 and I think he did a Jason flick too.

Im doing a Jason script myself, my first one,  so just when you thought they couldnt get any worse, JUST WAIT!!!!!
Ill post it shortly, hopefully it will be let up.

Is there an AXE MUTILATION 2? I really need to read this thing, its been hyped up too much!!
Posted by: Old Time Wesley, December 15th, 2004, 12:03am; Reply: 44
If nobody sues me I'll send it to you, I keep a folder with all the scripts I read or have something to do with in it. I think this was the script I was a character in, anyways my likeness should show up in a few of casey's scripts and books unless he cut me out

He shows up and stars in my scripts also and I'm writing a remake of his Campous Killer and stars in it himself as 2 Casey Wrenn's. I like using people that are off of here in my screenplays or there screenplays as real films within my characters world

If it doesn't anger Casey by all means I'll send the copy I have to you, I'm loyal to people's trust so if he wants it gone and not around than I have to respect his wishes
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), December 15th, 2004, 10:22am; Reply: 45

Quoted from clever_name, posted June 22nd, 2004, 6:37pm at here


Quick question:  How come only teenagers are stalked by slashers?  How come middle aged yuppies never have their board meetings crashed by an axe weilding maniac?


Probably because they can't run as fast as teenagers and no one wants to see senior citizens having sex in the woods (prior to being killed).

Rent 'Bubba Ho-Tep,' starring Bruce Campbell.


Phil

Posted by: Old Time Wesley, December 15th, 2004, 2:50pm; Reply: 46
I'd like to see them having sex, if they are MILF's. If they are like just average 25 - 35 year olds I doubt they look that bad naked, plus not all slashers need nudity but it's the only thing that keeps the audience coming back
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