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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Action/Adventure Scripts  /  Goonies Never Say Die
Posted by: Don, May 31st, 2004, 8:50am
Goonies Never Say Die by Andy Petrou - Adventure - The Goonies versus the Fratelli's. 20 years later, a kidnapping, a wedding and one final showdown. Who wins? There are no winners in this game. Goonies never say die...'til death do us part.  - htm, format 8)
Posted by: baltis (Guest), May 31st, 2004, 10:26am; Reply: 1
I just read the 1st 30 pages and wow! What a way to bring these guys back into action.

I don't know how you'd pull of the cast, you couldn't simply have the same ones... they are all much to old now. I like the flow of the characters, you really know them it seems. Must've watched it countless times to get it down the way you have.

I'll read the rest when I get some more time tonight or tomorrow and then rate it for ya.

So far I'd go see this movie just for the 1st 30 minutes alone.
Posted by: smackmyho (Guest), May 31st, 2004, 10:42am; Reply: 2

Just cracked it open. Crazy idea.

Well written.

Only thing troubling me is

"Spectacular views of Astoria."

Not sure Spectacular and Astoria should live in the same sentence.
Whew! What a dump.

Posted by: baltis (Guest), May 31st, 2004, 10:50am; Reply: 3
Very well written... I'm very envious actually, I'd like my skills to one day be up to this bar. He has a great attention for detail, but in as few words as possible. It takes this guy a sentence to tell what it takes most to tell in 3.

I'm a decent writter and have completed several screenplays, this guy makes me wanna go back and re-write them all.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), June 1st, 2004, 5:11am; Reply: 4
Finished it!

One question... what do you use to write and how can I get to be this good?

I've wrote screenplays before, a mix of everything, but never a adventure movie. If you're not working in hollywood, or under Spielberg. You should be.

You nailed it. I'm impressed. I never wanted to see a GOONIES follow up, untill now. LOL
Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 1st, 2004, 11:52am; Reply: 5

Quoted from baltis, posted June 1st, 2004, 5:11am at here
Finished it!

One question... what do you use to write and how can I get to be this good?

I've wrote screenplays before, a mix of everything, but never a adventure movie. If you're not working in hollywood, or under Spielberg. You should be.

You nailed it. I'm impressed. I never wanted to see a GOONIES follow up, untill now. LOL


Hi Baltis and smackmy-garden-ho,

Thank you very much for the positive feedback. It was my first go at writing a script and I used Movie Magic which apparantly is almost the same as final draft.

:D You both made my day last night and today, thanks again. (I tried to submit it to WB already, but sadly, they didn't want to know, they only use in-house writers).

Oh well, at least the fans get to see it on my site!!

Will try and read your script this week.
Andy
Posted by: the goose, June 10th, 2004, 12:33pm; Reply: 6
I'm gonna post my long overdue review in a day or so.
Posted by: baltis (Guest), June 29th, 2004, 11:41pm; Reply: 7
Forgot to rate it for ya!

I hope this will become a becon for other folks who think about passing it up.

Good luck Andy ;)
Posted by: sheepdogg_plankton (Guest), August 13th, 2004, 9:39am; Reply: 8
I read it.  I had to watch the original before I read it, and hmm, and this is good.  I loved the characterizations, thought it was an incredible way to show how where they all kinda ended up and then to bring them back into action, i was like, "there goes the coolness of the script, it's falling, it's falling, ahhhh...." but then about 30 pages into it, it got really good.  Loved the last scene, you can see it in your head.  Incredibly well written indeed.  Only thing i didn't really like about it is you seemed to use montages a little toooo much.  A quick skimming through i saw about three or four, which is a little unusual and i couldn't get used to it, it was like suddenly there was a break in the script or something.  Hope to see more from you, good luck.
Posted by: Andy Petrou, August 13th, 2004, 12:08pm; Reply: 9
Thank you sheepdogg plankton so much for your feedback. Wow, I even got you to watch the original first, and you STILL liked it - even more flattering!!!  

Wasn't too clear about whether you said you liked it only after the first 30 pages? If so, I understand. A few people told me it dragged and even tho they were kind of enjoying it, they were like, 'where is this going?'. I found it a little difficult to avoid the reunion catch up chit chat that I think fans would want to see, and trying to treat it as a complete movie on its own separate from the first. So yeah, I see how page 30 onwards picked up!!

I agree that I think my characterisations are the strongest aspect of the script. In fact, 99% of people who read it said the same thing. I guess I saw the first one soooo many times since I was a kid, that I always seemed to feel connected to the personalities, so didn't find it too much of a challenge to age them, so to speak. If I could only write dialogue I would!!

As for the montages, that is a very interesting point. Just to clarify, do you mean the paragaphs where I did bullet point type of lines, rather than whole sentences? If so, I know which ones you mean. I can see how they could break the flow of the script. I guess cos I havent' written anything b4 I thought rather than writing a lot of narrative, best to leave some white space on the page!! Plus I tried really hard to NOT direct the script either- big effort indeed and very tempting.

You liked the last scene eh? Thanks, that's extra special because when I wrote the original version, it ooozed of Mature Cheddar and my boyf was like, lose some of the cheese!!! So I hacked at it many many times, to try to get the balance right.  But I'm, glad you enjoyed it still.

Thanks again to all of you for reading it because this thread has been so rewarding and full of interesting comments and observations.

Baltis is determined to get me to write something else, but I don't know if another year + of re-drafting is in me after this one alone! How the hell do the rest of you write so much is what I want to know!!...
Posted by: Andy Petrou, December 8th, 2004, 2:26am; Reply: 10
Hi everyone,

Just wanted to bump this up because of my Goonies 2005 event news tht I have!!

I wanted to let you know that I have been busy this past year organising the Goonies 20th Anniversary event which will take place in June 2005 - If Don doesn't mind me adding this addtion to my old email, I would like to show people exactly what will take place. ?

Here is information taken from the chamber of commerce and their december newsletter, on page 2.

http://www.oldoregon.com/Pages/ChamberWorks.pdf

Or here simply -



The new event site is in development and when it is completed all future updates and information about the event will be posted there, to keep all event information complete and up to date. I will give details of it in due course.

Thanks, Andy x
Posted by: Balt (Guest), December 14th, 2004, 2:23am; Reply: 11
Hey, K.K.!!!! ;)

Long over due for a full on review but I think it's better late
than never, rather than to never show up at all.

You know my voice rather well, K.K. ~ So this isn't so much an
ego booster for you. Rather it is a call for everyone who
hasn't read this screenplay, this amazing screenplay, or passed
it up for someone else's "clearly inferior" screenplay "cough"
all of my screenplays "cough" to give it a look.

I'm not around as much no more, but that is a lot to do with
all the screenplays I see here that are good and not getting
any attention... This site has become a fodder ground for
people to post their work and run for the hills... That's fine,
but it's also burying a good number of the great screenplays
there are here... This one for instance.

So with out the further nagging of on with the on... On with
the on is what I say.

Ok, 1st thing 1st... I'm not here to lambaste anyone else's
work or screenplays, I've read a lot of them here and I know
that a good number of them eclipse mine in every way...  This
screenplay here for example is powerful stuff.

I've read it 3 times now and use it often to check my own work for errors and direction...



1- It's written with such attention to detail. Anyone who knows
the movie, will know this screenplay is of the exact same
quality as the movie. It is. Andy has really made these
characters her own, and it shows within' every 149 to 150 pages
of the screenplay or so sophocles clocks it in at.

2- It's written like a pro. The funny thing is... this is her
1st screenplay. Now, I've seen folks write screenplays for 2
and 3 years and still not know what is what and what is up...
That is another reason this screenplay is such a relief to
read, cause it's so well laid out.

The story is exactly how I'd want it to be, had there been a
follow up. She has taken the characters and made them all grown
up and more importantly, made them stick to their roots and
backings.  

I love the opening of the movie... Reading it reminds me so so much of how the 1st one started, only with the reintroducing of the characters this time out. Great stuff!

I do feel that you took an extra amount of care into making Francis and Jake read so so well... I mean just wow!  You can't get dialogue that flows any better than this.

I like the fact that you took the focus of of Mikey, it was a very key element in why this
screenplay turned out so well in the end I think, cause it gave everyone else a chance to shine and really pull thru.

The characters work well in one's and two's and even better in the group... this is hard to do, cause I wrote Coffin Canyon "which had a huge posse" and it's very hard to keep things all together and fleshed out.  You made each character work, be they alone, be they with someone else and more importantly in the Gang.  

Your action scenes and descriptions are blistering and ferverishly pitched at a face pace. The movie is more of a Character Drama than an all our action flick and it's not a full on adventure flick either... It's a homage to the film in everyway... It is all about the characters and the story of just what happened after that deed was signed at the end of Goonies.  

When you factor in the content of fan fiction... It's always a tough sell and call.  It is, cause you're gonna have your 150th batman story to go up against. You're gonna have a million spiderman screenplays to fight off. You're gonna even have some damn Star wars in there too.

But you know what guys... all that's played out. It's old hat. It is... This is something new, something good and something worth the read.  It's an eye opener for a lot of new writers and even seasoned writers like R.E. and Wes and um... help me out here... I know I got more respect for Wes and R.E. than most any writers on here, but... you get my point.  

I wrote this review... I'm sick... I'm coughing... I'm dizzy... and I'm not working today and you know what... that is even more testment to how good this is, cause dammit! I don't stand behind something I don't believe in, ever.  Well, except for sex, booze and pills! << I kidd... I do... I kidd...

Anyway, to be serious here... "oh no, that's a 1st from my mouth"   This screenplay is a class act and she's a class act and you'd be doin' yourself a favor to check it out guys. I know you can read Scream 10 today, or you can read Jason kills his mothers second brother on elm street too... But really, don't you know why you're reading it?  To make fun of it and tell the writer how bad he/she is and how you could have done it better or something... You won't have to do that with this one, cause she nailed it with this one.  

With that I will no carry my butterflies to bed.

Hope this bumps it to the top and makes everyone forget the lacking horror section for awhile... and that's another thing I'd like to add... I write horror.  I write mundane, stoopid stories about the same thing everyone else does with new ideas... It's not pretty, it's not brilliant and it's not gonna win awards.  It might make you laugh... make you hate me and even make you wanna rip the horror book up all together, but in all of that... I'm here to say this screenplay is the hands down best screenplay I've read ... not only here, but on DD and HWS too.

Good work and good thoughts, K.K.  Now what's this about a girl in a car who follows an american around and um... shouldn't you be writing again?   ;)  :P

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo
Posted by: Andy Petrou, December 14th, 2004, 3:59am; Reply: 12
CK, WOW!!!
Thanks so much for your review/feedback - really thank you very much!! You didnt have to, but you did.


Quoted Text
I've read it 3 times now and use it often to check my own work for errors and direction...


Not sure if mine is actually formatted correctly, but if it helps then that's great!!....('cough',she hopes its right!)

Yeah, the characters are my strength, as opposed to the actual adventure storyline aspect of the script - I genuinly believe, that a Goonies sequel should have more tunnels and even a hint of a pirate ship...... but, I struggled to make it real or real enough for a follow up.

But, yes, the characters are very important to me, kind of like friends I grew up with, and how I imagined them turning out. If I could do characters only, I'd probably write more!! But, as it stands, this movie is my passion, so I doubt I'll write another one, unless its a short - then maybe you'd see another from me on this board!!


Quoted Text
Your action scenes and descriptions are blistering and ferverishly pitched at a face pace. The movie is more of a Character Drama than an all our action flick and it's not a full on adventure flick either...


You are absolutely right about the character drama!! I didnt know where to put it in this site! Action....not quite, adventure..., um, sort of!!! Its a mixed bag of things really - but no one thing defines it thats for sure!!

Thanks for the comments about the action scenes, it's hard to know the right fighting terminologies, as I think guys pick up on these things better when watching films like 'Fight Club','Crouching Tigger, Hidden Lizard'  ;) 'Leon' etc... So, I kind of tried to keep those movies in mind for reference in any fighting sequences in my script --> But I am a typical girl sometimes, like, drop kick this...jab, jibe, left hook what?!!What are you talking about?!!

I'm a fan of fanfiction, and I always thought if ever I made a movie, that the pay off would be that I inspired so many people with my work, that they had to see more of it and therefore entered my world of imagination by writing their own.

......Kind of like teachers and pupils. Years later, students coming back to see their teachers, and the pay off for the teacher, who did care, seeing where their work may have helped their former pupils turn out in the world today - yeah, I'm sentimental like that... :)

Thanks, I really appreciate your support with my script...
Posted by: Balt (Guest), December 14th, 2004, 3:44pm; Reply: 13
Don't mention it K.K............. to anyone  :P

No, I kidd... I kidd... I do... I kidd "with 2 d's mind you" kinda makes me fooolish "with 3 o's" though sometimes, huh? ;)

With everything in me as to write or whatever... I believe your screenplay touched me like no other screenplay has. I think it was something to do with gowing up in the 80's and watching GOONIES countless times and kinda sharing in the same "not as extreme" love for them as you.  I really adore this screenplay, cause it's not fan fiction to me... it's not.  It's like exactly what I would want to see, if the follow up got made, it is.

I cannot say that about any other fan fiction script out there... They always get it wrong, no matter what it is, what genre, whatever... This is a perfect example of somone who loves the movie, loves the concept and did something for themselves and other fans of the same interest.

You did this, Andy and you should be proud of yourself, cause you know after all I've said to you be it whenever and whatever... I'm very proud of you.  ;)

Good thoughts

C.K.

P.S.
Haven't even finished Coffin Canyon and already want 2... TSK TSK  -- I'd be glad to send you RTCC actually, if you'd like it.  It's good stuff, better than the 1st one dare I say...??????  I guess you'll find out.  I also want to make it known, only the most special of people have laid eyes on the 2 other installments of Coffin Canyon... yes it's like area 51 on a smaller scale.  So, just know... you mean special things when you get them ;)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Posted by: Andy Petrou, January 25th, 2005, 2:02pm; Reply: 14
Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that I won't be around as much now, but just wanted to say thanks for all the feedback on my script, it meant a lot to me to receive, really it did.

......"Goonies Never Say Die" << this never changes!!
Posted by: CindyLKeller, June 15th, 2005, 6:54pm; Reply: 15
Andy,
I just finished reading your script. Baltis hit the nail right on the head when he said WOW and an amazing read, and you were able to get it into the hands of one of the actors. He'd be a fool not to get it to a production company and see if he could act in it. I'm not blowing smoke here. I really liked it. Very professional. It's something that you can be proud of.
Have you attempted to get an agent yet? You may want to try Circle of Confusion in New York. They are always looking. They didn't like my horror idea, but maybe they will like your Goonie script.
Cindy

Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 16th, 2005, 7:43am; Reply: 16
Hey Cindy,

Thank you sooooo much for reading it, means a lot to me that you did actually. Bonus for me that you thought it was professional too, a great compliment for my first script  ;D

I'll let you know if the actor says anything, but to be honest, Warner Bros don't want to fund the project, they're too busy with the Harry Potter type franchises and don't believe in the movie's audience enough, even though Richard Donner and Spielberg do. WB own the rights and have the final say in the end.

Ho hum, I loved writing it though, so was a great venture for me personally anyway.

I didn't see the point getting an agent when I knew that WB will only hire internal writers. Strange. Thanks for the tip though ;D

Take care xxx
Posted by: CindyLKeller, June 16th, 2005, 5:50pm; Reply: 17
Andy,
But if you were to get an agent, he or she could show it to Warner Bros. They would probably have some writers do a rewrite, but you would still get writing credit, along with them.
Something to ponder. It could work, ya know.  
Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 18th, 2005, 1:56pm; Reply: 18
Hey Cindy,

Thanks again for taking so much interest and supporting me with this script. I did give Jeff Cohen/CHUNK a copy and figured that since he is an entertainment lawyer, if he thought it was good, he could probably pass it onto the appropriate people.

I dunno, I also thought that by having it online for over a year now would seal it's fate anyway so I didn't bother pitching it because the studio is so against making it.

I'll think about what you said though, but I don't know if there's really a realistic point of trying to find an agent who will consider an unoriginal piece.

Andy  ;)
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), June 28th, 2005, 5:50pm; Reply: 19
Andy, I finally saw 'The Goonies' on cable today so I now feel I can say something about your sequel.  I've read the first thirty pages, or so, of the script and want to point out a few things.

How much time has passed since 'The Goonies?'  Maybe you said it and I missed it, I don't know.  I'm guessing that twenty years have passed, which would put the gang in their early/mid-thirties.  If you haven't mentioned this, you should.

Even though it's a sequel, you do have to reintroduce the characters.  You have to write as if this is the first story.   If this script was produced and in the theaters this Christmas, you would be dealing with an entirely new audience.  Not everyone will have seen the first movie.  Those who did may not recognize the characters.  Is chunk still fat?  Is Mouth still that cute and impish Corey whatshisface?

How much time has elapsed between Data proposing to Emma and the bachelor party?  I got the impression that they were only a day or two apart.  Bachelor parties are usually right before the wedding.  And why would the newspaper report on a bachelor party?  Wedding announcements, yes.  Bachelor parties, no.

Having read the bachelor party scene, I'm under the impression that you have never been to many bachelor parties.  That's okay because only naughty girls go to bachelor parties and you're a good girl.

A big problem that I had with your script was that it took thirty pages for the ship to hit the sand.  This is just too long.  You spend too much with the characters bickering when they could be doing this after Data's abduction.  The story shouldn't begin so late.


Phil
Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 29th, 2005, 1:53am; Reply: 20
Hey Phil,

Thanks so much for reading this - I do hope you enjoyed watching the movie... did you like it?

On with the on - You're exactly right about me needing to re-introduce the characters, to be honest, it completely slipped my mind with the original characters. I need to go back and do that. Thanks for reminding me.

About the time frame - the proposal happens in Spring, and I make mention of it by Emma saying she loves the Spring to give you an idea of which time of the year the script begins in.

Then, you'll see in the scene with Mikey when he loses his keys right? Well he writes a joke about Data on a calendar by the keys when he finds them again and the month is now October.

As for the twenty years thing, I thought I did mention it in dialogue but you could be right in that I missed that out - again, will make that clearer.

The newspaper reported the bachelor party, because Chunk is the reporter and it was a nod to his friend Data - like you have birth and deaths announcements, I thought he might do something like that for him? Maybe a celebration announcment sort of thing.

LMAO! Yes, I'm a good girl, lol! I really only had strippers in mind but couldn't think of what else would take place in a bachelor party - so I went with a mini reunion type of thing too.

I hear you on the first 30 pages dragging, I found it difficult to re-introduce them without some of the banter and catch-up talk as I figured they would all be reminiscing about their childhood when all reunited together again. But again, you're right, the pacing is too slow. I believe it picks up better after that.

Thanks for reading, Phil, means a lot  ;D
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), June 29th, 2005, 6:13am; Reply: 21
While I understood that Chunk wrote the piece, bachelor parties are not advertised.  It's still the secret boys' club.  Many people would get upset knowing there is one.

I did catch the spring/October time lapse.  I'm more concerned, however, with how many years passed.

The bantering and catching up is important.  It can still occur after the gang learns of the kidnapping.  It's not as if they suddenly take on the persona of Marine commandos when they need to.

One thing I forgot to mention earlier.  When the self-opening cans are knocked over in the store, they're supposed to open and the food is supposed to shoot out.  That's comic formula.  And unless this happens, how do we know they're self opening cans?

The movie was good for what it was, a summer time adventure flick.  It had more than its share of thrills and chills.  IT was one of the few movies starring kids where they weren't bigger than life.


Phil
Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 29th, 2005, 7:00am; Reply: 22

Quoted from dogglebe
While I understood that Chunk wrote the piece, bachelor parties are not advertised.  It's still the secret boys' club.  Many people would get upset knowing there is one.
This I did not know - I thought the more who knew the merrier! hmmm, I'd need to revise how the Fratelli's would find out though. Right, will try to think around that.



Quoted Text
The bantering and catching up is important.  It can still occur after the gang learns of the kidnapping.  It's not as if they suddenly take on the persona of Marine commandos when they need to.
LOL - I hear what you're saying, I just thought they'd be in too much of a sombre mood to be too nostalgic. But I see what you mean, no wannabe Steven Segals here.


Quoted Text
One thing I forgot to mention earlier.  When the self-opening cans are knocked over in the store, they're supposed to open and the food is supposed to shoot out.  That's comic formula.  And unless this happens, how do we know they're self opening cans?
A very good point, dammit I missed that completely. I think I could add a short scene of Erik demonstrating it to a customer and maybe the food going over the them in the process. Something like that perhaps. Otherwise, I'll take out the self-opening description if I can't make the scene comical enough.


Quoted Text
IT was one of the few movies starring kids where they weren't bigger than life.
And a great film it was for learning about characterisations too. The spider part sucked.

Thanks for your input, I hope you like the rest of it if you have the time to read it.

Andy  ;D



Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), June 29th, 2005, 8:08am; Reply: 23

Quoted from Andy Petrou
This I did not know - I thought the more who knew the merrier! hmmm, I'd need to revise how the Fratelli's would find out though. Right, will try to think around that.


The more the merrier at a bachelor party is dangerous.  After a certain point, you might as well give out dynamite and matches to the attendees.  And not all bachelor parties have strippers.  Only the good ones.

The Fratelli's could read the wedding announcement in the paper and do a little research on their own.



Quoted from Andy Petrou
LOL - I hear what you're saying, I just thought they'd be in too much of a sombre mood to be too nostalgic. But I see what you mean, no wannabe Steven Segals here.


They wouldn't be somber; they'd be stressed over the situation, which is great fodder for bickering.



Quoted from Andy Petrou
A very good point, dammit I missed that completely. I think I could add a short scene of Erik demonstrating it to a customer and maybe the food going over the them in the process. Something like that perhaps. Otherwise, I'll take out the self-opening description if I can't make the scene comical enough.


I'm wondering why Data would have self-opening cans in his shop.  It's not as if people can their own food.  Perhaps he could be showing his cans to a food manufacturer.  Campbells, maybe.

I'll keep reading and I'll let you know what I think.


Phil
Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 29th, 2005, 3:52pm; Reply: 24

Quoted Text
And not all bachelor parties have strippers.  Only the good ones.

- I figured this would be the case, LOL! Well, never been to a bachelorette party either, so I went on what I thought would take place too... hope that wasn't too far off the mark.


Quoted Text
The Fratelli's could read the wedding announcement in the paper and do a little research on their own.

- Great idea. I just felt the need to make it obvious by showing them reading about it by accident. A wedding announcement seems good too - I just thought I was giving them more time to plot something with the bachelor announcement first. In the UK, we don't always have it the night before the wedding, sometimes it's up to a week earlier!


Quoted Text
Perhaps he could be showing his cans to a food anufacturer.  Campbells, maybe

- The idea of the self-opening cans was to demonstrate Data's ability as an inventor, but I guess I didn't make that clear enough. Fantastic idea about Campbells and demonstrating the product to them. ;)

Thank you  ;D

Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), June 29th, 2005, 4:04pm; Reply: 25

Quoted from Andy Petrou

- I figured this would be the case, LOL! Well, never been to a bachelorette party either, so I went on what I thought would take place too... hope that wasn't too far off the mark.


That's because you're a good girl.

Usually, at a bachelor party, the stripper strips in front of everyone and then (if negotiated) she take the groom-to-be aside for a little nudge nudge wink wink.  I won't go into further detail.



Quoted from Andy Petrou
- Great idea. I just felt the need to make it obvious by showing them reading about it by accident. A wedding announcement seems good too - I just thought I was giving them more time to plot something with the bachelor announcement first. In the UK, we don't always have it the night before the wedding, sometimes it's up to a week earlier!


That would only mean that their kidnap plans would be filled with flaws, thus creating more comical situations.



Quoted from Andy Petrou
- The idea of the self-opening cans was to demonstrate Data's ability as an inventor, but I guess I didn't make that clear enough. Fantastic idea about Campbells and demonstrating the product to them. ;)


You made the can idea clear enough.  It's just not something that the average joe would be interested in.  That's more of a food industry invention.

If you want something more for the average joe, have Data invent a bug trap that emits sonic waves that attracts and draws in insects and other low intelligent animals.  As he's explaining it to a customer, his assistant could be drawn to it, unable to not touch it.



Quoted from Andy Petrou
Thank you  ;D


Just remember to stay a good girl.


Phil (naughty boy)

Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 29th, 2005, 4:28pm; Reply: 26

Quoted from dogglebe

If you want something more for the average joe, have Data invent a bug trap that emits sonic waves that attracts and draws in insects and other low intelligent animals.  As he's explaining it to a customer, his assistant could be drawn to it, unable to not touch it.

- That sounds interesting. Again, was trying to think up something scientific at the time but everything I thought up sounded lame! Your idea sounds better, more masculine.


Quoted from dogglebe

Just remember to stay a good girl.

- No!!! I want to be bad now dammit!!LMAO!


Quoted from dogglebe

Phil (naughty boy)

- Very naughty boy indeed  ;) Thanks for all your feedback, much appreciated.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), June 29th, 2005, 9:10pm; Reply: 27
Andy,  I'm going to finish writing a short before I finish reading GNSD.  My three scripts have slipped down the boards in recent weeks.  I don't think that anyone sle is going to read them so I feel I have to put something new up (it's overdue, anyway).  I should get back to your stuff within a week.


Phil
Posted by: Andy Petrou, June 30th, 2005, 5:53am; Reply: 28
No problem, Phil - best of luck with the short.
Posted by: Oney.Mendoza, July 12th, 2005, 12:39am; Reply: 29
Andy,

     Hey I just read this and WOW...I liked this a lot. You captured the adventure and unique-ness of the characters so well it was amazing. I found it really interesting to see how these characters ended up in their later lives, loved your ideas. Really good dialogue and excellent screenplay structure, along with creative moments makes this so much better than it had to be. I can't imagine reading this if it was done by anyone else, good job!!!

-ONEY
Posted by: Andy Petrou, July 12th, 2005, 3:03am; Reply: 30
Hey Oney,

I'm so happy you read it and liked it!! It's always been a hit and miss amongst the fans of the original, as they already have certain expectations of their own on what they'd like to see happen!

Thanks for taking the time to read it and for the kind words too!!

Andy  ;D
Posted by: bert, July 14th, 2005, 1:26pm; Reply: 31
Hello Andy. Love the photo. Very cute. I've been meaning to read this for some time, but I always end up getting drawn to the "darker" stuff. That's just me. But your kind words for "Someplace" motivated me to get off my you-know-what and check this out. I avoided the previous posts prior to reading, so pardon any repeat advice.

It's been years (...and years) since I last saw this film, but your wonderful little story here brought the characters right back. Even after all this time, I knew who was who right away. Here are some specifics for ya' (that contain SPOILERS):

* Your opening is very sweet. Are the seagulls after Chunk's sandwich? It's not clear, but if they aren't, they should be, and he should struggle with the birds more for comic effect.
* While I avoided previous posts, I couldn't help but catch some of the banter between you and Phil about the Bachelor party in the paper.Now look. Goonies is a fantasy story. You've got treasure chests and trains and Sloth as a social worker or something -- and suddenly Phil's disbelief kicks in with a newspaper article?? I say don't worry about it. If putting an announcement in the paper helps you move the story, go right ahead. I don't think anybody else will notice.
* Pg. 12:  You maybe need a little dialogue (just a bit) to establish the Uncle relationship (a show don't tell thing).
* typo on 46 "...he's ties up."
* Pg. 71: I don't think Data should cry. He might not be defiant here, exactly, but personally, I don't think tears in the face of danger is appropriate for any of the Goonies.
* Pg. 73 or so: I smiled when the girls were teasing Chunk. That's always a good sign as far as the characters are concerned.
* Around page 89: Once your action sequence started, I simply stopped taking notes, scrolling through the pages as they just flew by. This section works wonderfully.
* typo on 120 "...make she you keep her."
* Final scenes over credits: I would not have Mouth belching. It seems out of place, but if you must keep it, move it so it does not immediately proceed the passionate kiss between Mouth and Stef. It kind of ruins it, particularly since its the very last thing we see.

What a great job, and your affection for these characters really shows. And such a nice break from the bloody stuff I usually gravitate towards. Actually, reading this made me want to go back and see Goonies again, which was probably your intent    :)
Posted by: Andy Petrou, July 14th, 2005, 1:43pm; Reply: 32

Quoted from bert
Hello Andy. Love the photo. Very cute

- Lol! My friend at http://www.thegoonies.org manipulated my photo for me, it cracked me up when I saw it and found it to be rather fitting!!


Quoted from bert
But your kind words for "Someplace" motivated me to get off my you-know-what and check this out.

- Awe, thank you. I genuinely loved it and I gave it to someone else at work to read too and she totally loved it. We both said how simple and original it was and were so suprised that it's not been done yet - go get it copywritten and produce it before someone else does!


Quoted from bert
Are the seagulls after Chunk's sandwich? It's not clear, but if they aren't, they should be, and he should struggle with the birds more for comic effect.

- Yes Bert, I was acutally going for the food fight, I have to go back and make it clearer. Thanks for pointing that out.


Quoted from bert
* Pg. 71: I don't think Data should cry. He might not be defiant here, exactly, but personally, I don't think tears in the face of danger is appropriate for any of the Goonies.

- I never looked at it like that actually. Interesting. I felt though that as an adult, he'd crack under the pressure with all the emotions building up to the wedding and all. Good point though, I'll stop being so damn girly, lol!


Quoted from bert
* Final scenes over credits: I would not have Mouth belching. It seems out of place, but if you must keep it, move it so it does not immediately proceed the passionate kiss between Mouth and Stef. It kind of ruins it, particularly since its the very last thing we see.

- I was pushing for toilet humour here, but I see where you are coming from. I had an ex who was rather impressed with his belches which inspired me and we always laughed at it too. I thought I might get that reaction here, but thanks for your input.


Quoted from bert
Actually, reading this made me want to go back and see Goonies again, which was probably your intent    :)

- YAY!! Woohoo! If you do get to watch it anytime soon, I will feel extra special!

Bert, thank you so much for taking the time to read it and more so I am so glad that you liked it!!! It always means a lot to me to have feedback but more importantly knowing that I didn't do too much of a bad job tarnishing the original in anyway.

;D Andy  ;D
Posted by: AA Eguavon, July 15th, 2005, 1:07pm; Reply: 33
this script is meant to have to relation to the "goonies" is it?
Posted by: Andy Petrou, July 15th, 2005, 1:11pm; Reply: 34
Yes... it's intended to be it's sequel.. ;)
Posted by: Goonie17, July 20th, 2005, 12:52pm; Reply: 35
Wow!

Great job on the script Andy! I think that my favorite part of it is the fact that you really nailed the stories settings. The descriptioins of the Astoria are perfect. I think that bringing in the original characters is the perfect pretense to the sequel (if it ever happens). I love the dialect between the Fratelli's as well. Overall I think that this is a great setup for the sequel. I personally enjoyed your script, and look forward to seeing what you come with next!
Posted by: Andy Petrou, July 20th, 2005, 12:59pm; Reply: 36
Hey Zane!!

LOL! Glad to see you signed up hon, thanks so much for the review! You know I am chuffed you read it... More so the fact that like liked it!!

I tried to make the Fratelli's banter fun and lively like in the original and it's one of the things I'm most happy with overall.

"Ah yes, K.C. The land of beef and regrets" - I'm glad you brought that here... home away from home  ;D

Hope to see you on the board more!! ;)

Andy xxx
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), July 21st, 2005, 12:33pm; Reply: 37
Andy,  I just saw this on ebay.  You might be interested in it:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5599325295


Phil
Posted by: Andy Petrou, July 21st, 2005, 12:37pm; Reply: 38

Quoted from dogglebe
Andy,  I just saw this on ebay.  You might be interested in it:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5599325295

Phil


I already have that one. I'm still searching for popcorn Chunk...

In all seriousness though, this seller is on my goonies forum I visit, and well, it went down a hoot there when she posted it up!! The things people will sell, but moreso the things people will buy! :o



Posted by: Chilli, July 21st, 2005, 12:39pm; Reply: 39
I'll read this within the next few days.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), July 21st, 2005, 12:43pm; Reply: 40

Quoted from Andy Petrou

The things people will sell, but moreso the things people will buy! :o


My favorite in recent months was the slice of toast with Donald Trump's image on it.

Several years back, I posted a phony item when the show Survivor forst came out.  It was for a sperm sample from Randy, the old ex-Marine.


Phil

Posted by: Andy Petrou, September 8th, 2005, 7:17am; Reply: 41
Hey Greg,

Thank you so much for reading my script! I am so happy it was read one more time before I go travelling on Monday.

Glad you liked the characters and dialogue too. Now, I must add, I have nothing against midgets... even before I wrote "House of Fun"!!!! Yep, my first go at a script, and I think I've learnt quite a bit on here too since, so plan to polish this up when I get back.

Yeah I was nervous! Not that many people read fanfiction, nor do they admit to enjoying the Goonies either, as shocking as it sounds  ;) But feedback such as yours, totally made the nerves worth it!

Once again, thanks for taking the time to read it and I am glad I made you chuckle at least once!! ;D

Andy xxx
Posted by: Martin, September 8th, 2005, 7:56am; Reply: 42
Hey Andy,

I have been planning to read this for ages but I was waiting until I had another chance to see the original movie. A friend of mine has it on order so I'll watch it before I post a review. I'm not ashamed to admit that The Goonies was my favourite movie as a kid although I haven't seen it for well over a decade. All I remember is the truffle-shuffle and a few choice lines from Sloth.

Anyway, I'll get to this as soon as I can. I figure I owe you several reads as it is.

Have fun on your hols!
Posted by: bert, September 8th, 2005, 8:07am; Reply: 43
Look at Andy go!  Still getting reads on her story.

That should clue you in to the fact that this is a fine piece of work, Ms.Petrou.  Your hard work and affection for these characters really comes through in this piece.  You will not be disappointed, D.S.  Granted, it's not my usual cup of tea, but I really enjoyed it nevertheless.

You will be missed, Andy (for a while, anyways).  Be safe.
Posted by: Andy Petrou, September 8th, 2005, 12:08pm; Reply: 44
Wow, all you guys are too good to me, thanks so much  :K)

Bert, really, I am touched by your comments. What can I say? Perhaps there are more fans of the movie here than we all thought?! Or my chat-up line under my pirate pic works, lol!! :P

Martin, if you do get a chance to read it before Monday, that would be great to get your take on it too, seeing as how it was your favourite childhood movie. Should you read it in my absence, you can also read this thread below, where I met some of the cast at my event. (Enjoy the movie btw, I know you will) Plus you can download the videos of it all, and get to see what some of them look like now while I am interviewing them (Chunk, Mikey and Mr Perkins to be exact) -

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b=Chat,m=1102491382

I will pop in every now and then I'm sure, but I have to admit, I have grown quite fond of this place and will miss it!

Anyways, I'll be back.. and Goonies never say die and all  ;D

Andy xxx
Posted by: Martin, October 7th, 2005, 9:01am; Reply: 45
Andy, I absolutely loved this script. I can't believe I took so long to get around to reading it. You have real talent.

I made some notes as I went along

The dialogue between the Fratellis is excellent.

The advert in the paper is a bit of a deus ex machina but it I could suspend my disbelief.

I love the way you reintroduce all the old guys. The cross-cutting is very effective.

You can remove CUT TO and other scene transitions, they clutter up the script.

Page 11. The phone call. Data's dialogue should be (V.O.) not (O.S.)

I'm pretty sure you can remove the 'main titles' and 'end main titles' ' we're 10 minutes into the film when the titles end. Best to let the director decide

The bachelor party is a hilarious. Very funny dialogue, especially Data, Mouth and Chunk.

Minor point: I got berated for using 'ing' words in coverage of one of my scripts. It should be avoided if possible. Examples:

'FOOTSTEPS THUMPING LOUDLY on the stairs.' change to FOOTSTEPS THUMP LOUDLY' '

'Francis looks at him, shaking his head.' change to 'shakes'.

                   CHUNK
                             (laughs)
                        The who?
                             (beat)
                        Fratelli's?
                             (pause)
                        Are you crazy?

You do this a lot, probably too much. It might flow better if you use three full stops (periods) to denote a break in dialogue. On a another note, you emphasize a lot of dialogue in italics. Usually, the way it's written means you don't need it.

I love your short, often single word descriptions between the dialogue e.g. 'Disbelief' and 'Frustration'. You're really economical with your descriptions which is great.

I think this has been said before but it's page 40 before we see these guys taking action. I can see how you've tried to structure your first act with the stripper arriving at the act break but I think the break should be when they actually receive the note. Perhaps trim all but the best dialogue from your bachelor party scene to get things moving along quicker.

I stopped taking notes at this point. The second half of the script just flies by. Your affection for the characters shines through. The dialogue is excellent throughout.

I loved the way you wrapped things up at the end. Tied up the story perfectly. I was a little disappointed that we didn't meet Sloth but what you did at the end with the photograph was a great touch.

It's hard to believe this is your first script. You obviously put a lot of time and effort into writing this. I urge you to write more. You're very, very good at it.
Posted by: Andy Petrou, October 12th, 2005, 12:50pm; Reply: 46

Quoted from Martin
I urge you to write more. You're very, very good at it.


Martin, thanks so much for reading this and for your feedback. Was a real surprise to see it had been read again. I think you've made some very valid and interesting points and when I return to the UK, I will go back and tidy up a few things that have been pointed out to me so far.

Thanks again, it means a lot to me, it really does!

Andy xxxx

Posted by: Andy Petrou, January 6th, 2006, 9:36am; Reply: 47
Some of my friends over at http://www.thegoonies.org advised me that the AMC cinema chain is screening "The Goonies" as it's movie of the month for January 2006.

If anyone wants to watch the promo vid, it can be seen on the link below -

http://live.video.rainbow-media-online.com/video.jsp?video_id=5001&template_id=21&subcategory_id=63

All the other videos I filmed from the "Goonies Never Say Die" 20th anniversary event can be found in this thread here -

http://www.thegoonies.org/BB/viewtopic.php?t=2860

Pretty cool!  8)

Andy xxx
Posted by: Andy Petrou, January 13th, 2006, 7:36pm; Reply: 48
Well, you raise an interesting point there!!

The attic scene is really the only part of the movie where this is mentioned. Mikey says that one of the guys must of found their way out of the tunnels and as he trails off on this spiel, the other boys dismiss him and his attempts to lure them on the adventure, as it sounds too far fetched. I've got the Goonies storybook which was written by James Kahn, and don't recall a backstory in there... however, in this day and age, I'm sure someone could easily produce a prequel out of thin air! I've read fanfiction which addresses this story point, but nothing official. I guess Spileberg and Donner skimmed over it so as to not force too much realism on the storyline....  ::)

PS - My http://www.gooniesneversaydie.com website is back online again, woohoo!! Had major server problems, but the link now works. It needs major updating as I stopped in april/may 2004, when my goonies event preparations were underway.... have to go back and update it soon.

Andy xxx
Posted by: Andy Petrou, May 19th, 2006, 6:06am; Reply: 49
I thought I might post this here, as I know there are Goonies fans on this forum. I've put together a portfolio of rare Goonies pictures, sketches, articles and photos. There are images of cut scenes in there too, which are really cool for those of you who never knew about them!

Here's the direct link to this section of my photo album -

http://www.flickr.com/photos/75403582@N00/sets/72057594137753460/

;D Hope you like the pics! ;D

Andy xxx
Posted by: bert, May 19th, 2006, 7:12am; Reply: 50
OMG!!  I checked out your Goonies stuff, Andy -- but then -- well, I found a few more photos that just took my breath away.  Just gorgeous....really.

You should be glad those weren't around while SimplyNoir was being written  ;)
Posted by: Andy Petrou, May 19th, 2006, 7:18am; Reply: 51

Quoted from bert
OMG!!  I checked out your Goolies stuff, Andy  ;)


:o Hahaha. J/K!

Ohhhh.. I know the ones you mean...  ;)

Thank you very much for the compliments, Bert. Now I want to know how SimplyNoir would have turned out instead!!! LOL!!  

:K) :K) :K)

Love, A xxx

Posted by: Andy Petrou, November 4th, 2006, 12:53am; Reply: 52

Quoted from greg
[EDITING MY OLD CRAPPY REVIEW]

Ya know, while reading this I was constantly comparing it to the original, seeing what balances and differences there were.  The beauty of reading something like this is that I already know stuff about the main characters, and The Goonies are your life, so obviously alot of care was put into this unlike the slapdash Jason or Halloween remakes you're seeing all over the place.

The characters had their natural flows and were adapted faithfully.  I think the drunkness and parties and rude e-mails that you included accurately depict the Goonies down the road.  The main story conflict is a simple one, but I felt it went smoothly and included all of the Goonie aspects which made the original film such a hit.  The charm, the personalities, the mysterious treasure, and expecting the unexpected(i.e. Mikey rolling out on his motorcycle or the development of Jake.)  

Two things didn't work for me.  More rude comments!  I've heard you say such filthy things but guys like Mouth and Chunk in here were relatively tame.  Cursing, sure, but sexual jokes or weight jokes or something of that sort.  Plus they're adults!  It's even funnier!  "Hey Mouth, you got dumped!" "Oh yeah? You used to be fat!" haha...I dunno.  I suck right now.

I also would have liked to see something with the contents of the chest.  Maybe add in the identity of the dead dude or a legend of what it is or something, because they discard that stuff and that's the end of it.  

Otherwise this flows very nicely.  Darker than the first, but definitely maintains the charm which made it such a superhit.  You tell an astonishing story, Androulla.  What, with House of Fun and Miss Pearly Mae, you tell very vivid stories with very engaging and amusing characters!  

And of course with lines such as "I mean seriously, what is Gary Coleman doing these days?" you can't go wrong.  Ha!  So, faithfully evolved dialogue, fun story, nicely flows and it's not a sorry ass sequel that looks like it was pasted together in 10 minutes like many sequels these days are.  And you were nervous about posting this?  Come on, Andy!  

A Winner All the Way! :D


Well, well, well, an updated review!! HAHA!! Thank you so much for re-reading this, Greg, 'tis truly an honour when someone re-reads your work.

Not rude enough, eh? OMG - I thought I was already being risky, 'cos even though they're adults now, I still want a young audience to watch it too... or, maybe that's not possible. I don't know, I don't have kids to say whether this is too raunchy or not...!

The chest wasn't supposed to be the focal point, but I see what you're saying, but I figured the kidnapping demanded more attention!!!!!  :P

Awe, you've made my night, hee hee. I actually haven't read this for the longest time and perhaps I will before I head back to Oregon next week.

Thanks again :K)

A x
Posted by: Mr. Maven, December 26th, 2006, 12:40pm; Reply: 53
Okay, I stopped on the third page because I do think I should see the Goonies FIRST, because in your story I don't know if you wrote them as present day thirty-year-olds or new-cast children?
Please get back to me on that and I will hopefully had watched the movie.

Colby
Posted by: Nameless (Guest), December 26th, 2006, 8:37pm; Reply: 54
Good script Andy; about halfway through.  

As far as the plausibility of the wedding in the paper, you could frame it with a newsworthy achievement, e.g., ' Astoria native, and Inventor Journal's 2006 Man of the Year set to wed.'
Posted by: Andy Petrou, December 27th, 2006, 1:24am; Reply: 55

Quoted from Mr. Maven
Okay, I stopped on the third page because I do think I should see the Goonies FIRST, because in your story I don't know if you wrote them as present day thirty-year-olds or new-cast children?
Please get back to me on that and I will hopefully had watched the movie.

Colby


Hey there,

Thanks for bumping this up for me  ;D This script takes place 20 years later. When writing this I forgot to take into account anyone who hadn't seen the original movie, to know that I aged everyone and just assumed everyone knew what the actors looked like today. Sorry about that. Hope that helps and I look forward to hearing your opinion.

(sidenote, if anyone does want to know what the actors look like today, if you have the Goonies on DVD, check out the commentary feature and they are all there with Richard Donner, in full view conversing and catching up over their childhood experiences working together - It's incredible to watch)

To "nameless" - thanks for taking some time to read through this too. If I have time when I go back home (UK) at Easter, I'll re-draft it as I'll have some time to kill whilst looking for work again. Good suggestion and appreciated. Hope you enjoy the rest of it.

Andy xx
Posted by: Kevan, December 27th, 2006, 2:49pm; Reply: 56
Yeah, you should write another draft on this Andy. Would love to read this myself when you get around to doing this.

Love your new avatar BTW, you look sexy you little minx  ;D


Kev
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