Alright, so this movie was um... really really really bad.  Actually the only movie that comes to mind that it worse, would be DAWN OF THE DEAD REMAKE and maybe that one with the 3 INDIAN ZOMBIES who stalk a house party.

"The name slips me at the moment"

This movie had no story. At all. None! It had the inkling of one, but never managed to get off the ground in all the absurd shit they wanted to throw at ya.  We have a blind girl, an asian sister, a war vet, a womans lib girl, a biker-like dude and some other dick head we don't really get a chance to know.

They are on some camping trip, I suppose, but don't quote me on this.  They soon find a confederate grave yard way way way off in the woods. Where else would it be? They then find all kinds of relics that belonged to the buried soldiers, one of them takes a book that belonged to them and this is later revealed to be the reason they came back in the first place.  Funny stuff, really funny stuff.

The movie didn't take off until 37 minutes.  I say this because that's when the K-mart quality zombies appear. They don't actually kill anyone until 62 minutes into the fine film though. When they do finally kill the gore effects aren't bad... they are bloody and gooey and all that, but it quickly becomes a tedious task to watch, due to the incredible microphonic levels of the "chewing and chomping"

So after a funny ass run in with police and a few killings, the main cast find themselves at an abandon house, that isn't so abandon.  Here everyone but the biker-like guy dies, cause he wises up and gives them back this book numbnut stole in the off set.

It ends like it began. Shity!  The music is really loud and the dialogue is so low at times you can't make out what they are saying, not that it really matters though.

The last thing you need to know about this film, other than the fact there are no extras ont he DVD is, this is a TROMA film and all of what I wrote above... is to be expected.

J.D. ;)

Stay away... far far far far far far away.  However, on October 21st or whatever when DAWN OF THE DEAD REMAKE comes out, instead of buying it... save yourself 10 bucks and pick up this gem for 10.00

Sounds like that Zombie western thing Baltis did.

From what I read, Marla, I liked that Zombie western thing Baltis did.

But hey, I liked Boondock Saints so what do I know?

I have already forgiven you for Boondock Saints. Everyone is aloud one or two duds on their list.

As for the Coffin Canyon thing, I never got to finish it. Baltis took it down before I made a dent in it. I suppose he got an emergency call from his "agent" and reconsidered it.

Hey Glass, could you email me Coffin Canyon at:

paulahanespaulahanes@yahoo.com

I was just getting to the good part when it was so cruely snatched away.

I am overcome with joy at your forgiveness.

If Glass is unable to for whatever reason, I've got Coffin Canyon on my computer.

Send that sucker over Heretic!

I don't actually have Coffin Canyon on my PC.  I have a final draft pressed copy and I have all the story boards for it, as i'm the guy who drew them all up.  I suppose I could scan those, with his permission, and post them on the site. If anyone would be interested in seein' my art work and vison of how the movie plays out in structure.

However, if Heritic has it and wants to send it, that's cool.  I don't think the version you all are reading, though, is his final draft.  I believe the version he was in doings with on here was the one he wrote pre- RTCC and CC3 --

He has since whet back and changed Loretta's name, Randall survives, Sgt. Smith and Emily make it to the security line and a whole slew of other changes.  Larson also makes a very quick cameo in the final draft too.  A little spoiler for ya, he is the reason Randall makes it out of CC alive and into the clutches of Carson City for RTCC.

Anyway, no... Cannible Confederates is nothing at all like Coffin Canyon.  Coffin was actually a very polished screenplay in its 1st draft, in its final it blows even my mind.

I'd like to know why he pulled a lot of his stuff myself.  I know his last screenplay he sent in or was thinking about sending in, was a fantastic short for a little trilogy of short films he wrote called What a long strange trip it's been.  The short was called "MR. PARKS NEW LEASE ON LIFE" and it was nothing short of fantastic.  I actually kinda got my inspiration for Trick-er Creep from one of his short stories on "W.A.L.S.T.I.B. 3"

So just a little light shed on the matter at hand.

J.D.